Shrouded in mystery and speculation, the infamous female squirt has long been a source of controversy. In 2004, the British Board of Film Censors (BBFC) took it a step further and officially banned the production of porn featuring female ejaculation and squirting in the UK. Why? Well, alongside other categories such as facesitting, fisting and humiliation, squirting orgasms were deemed to be unacceptable. But, what do all of these categories have in common? Well, they’re all acts associated with women and female pleasure. Coincidence? Probably not. As many others have asked: what’s so degrading or problematic about a female squirting orgasm?
The ban is yet another example of how female pleasure and sexuality are misunderstood and under-examined. It’s time to have a candid conversation about squirting. Let’s get the facts straight and bust open some of the long-held myths that surround the female squirt.
What is squirting?
Squirting? Some claim it doesn’t even exist — it’s just pee or fake. Well, first things first: squirting is a real phenomenon.
Squirting describes the gush of liquid from the urethra that some women experience before, during or after an orgasm. Squirting is different from female ejaculation. Whereas female ejaculation is viscous and milky, the squirt is a more substantial quantity of clear liquid that shoots out of the urethra. It can be anywhere between a couple of drops to two full cups of liquid.
Who can squirt?
This may come as a surprise, but it turns out all women have the physical ability to squirt. Yet only roughly one third of women say that they’ve actually experienced squirting one or more times. Some women squirt every time they orgasm, some squirt without orgasm, and others orgasm without squirting. So, what can we learn? Everyone is different and there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to how you orgasm. And that’s totally fine.
The problem is, the squirting orgasm has become a way to measure pleasure for many. You only have to browse a handful of men’s magazines with their endless articles about ‘How to make your girl squirt’ to understand how squirting has become a kind of sexual goal. It seems many of us assume that a squirting orgasm is the only orgasm worth having. But that’s not the whole picture. Orgasms come in all shapes and sizes — there’s no better or worse way to orgasm. Hey, an orgasm is an orgasm, right?
Why can’t I squirt?
‘If all women can squirt- why can’t I?’ It’s a common question. Many women are keen to experience a squirting orgasm but claim that they just can’t do it. Well, we know that that’s not the case. And although a squirting orgasm isn’t the only way to experience pleasure, if you’re interested in getting wet and wild with a squirting orgasm there are some steps you can take.
Get out of your head
Not much is known about the female orgasm, but what we do know is that an orgasm is a mental and physical thing. For women, it’s important to feel comfortable and relaxed in order to orgasm. When it comes to a squirting orgasm, being in a good mental place is even more important. Why? Well, when you squirt there’s a real sense of release — both mental and physical. Think about it. Squirting is a form of ejaculation. That ejaculation needs to be willful. But for many women, letting it all go — literally — can be a struggle.
Things only become harder when you’re pressuring yourself to do it. ‘Come on! Why isn’t this working? When is it going to happen?’ Thoughts like these can take over and before you know it, you’ve lost the groove. Try clearing your mind and forgetting about squirting. If you do, great. If not, great. Have patience with yourself and try not to overthink it.
Let go of pee-fear
Speaking of letting it all go, the number one reason women don’t squirt is the fear of peeing themselves. And, hey, it’s understandable. Nothing quite ruins a sexy moment like incontinence. So, let’s get one thing straight: squirting is not the same as peeing. The liquid produced when you squirt is not pee.
Sure, you may experience a sensation of needing to pee and that’s normal. When you’re aroused, the tissue around your urethra is flooded with blood which presses against your bladder, causing that familiar feeling of needing to pee. But (and this is important) it doesn’t mean you’re going to pee yourself. To put your mind at ease, try going to the bathroom before getting down to it. If you’ve already relieved yourself, you’ll feel more confident that the awesome feeling is not a hasty toilet break but rather something much more intriguing. And, hey, even if you do pee yourself, it’s really not the end of the world.
Can I teach myself how to squirt?
Short answer, yes. The best way? Experiment on your own body. Although your partner may have fantasies of rocking your world with a completely mind-blowing orgasm, pleasure is something learnt. It takes patience and practice to really know how to push your buttons. So, take some time to get to know your body and work out what does it for you. The better you know your own body, the better you can help your partner to pleasure your body.
Locate your G-spot
Every woman is different, so every woman will have their own particular journey towards squirting. But a good place to start is your G-spot. Research has found that squirting is triggered by G-spot stimulation. Both direct G-spot stimulation and stimulating the outer areas of the G-spot can bring on a squirting orgasm.
But, where is the G-spot? Your G-spot can be found around two or three inches into your vagina. Close to the front of the vaginal wall, the G-spot has a distinctive spongy texture. To find it, use one or two fingers to make a come-hither motion — almost like a claw. You should be able to feel it yourself and the pleasure should be intense. Remember, if you feel like you’re about to pee, you’re doing the right thing. Don’t stop!
The best way to pleasure your G-spot is through some good ol’ fashioned sex toys. Today, the market is full of amazing G-spot stimulators that are designed specifically for this elusive sweet spot. For bonus points, try investing in a G-spot sex toy that comes with a clit stimulator. More women are able to orgasm through clitoral stimulation. By combining the two, you’re more likely to squirt.
And that’s it. There’s nothing negative about the female squirt, but it’s not something to feel pressured about. Have fun, experiment and enjoy the process. If it feels good, it is good!
Author Bio: Saskia Grey is the director of Kinky Galore, a sex toy company with a difference. Toys of Love provides high quality sex toys, sex games and sex accessories around the UK.
Hello, I am Kitten T the Editor of #itsakittensworld, passionate about sexual liberation and anything which encourages female sexual empowerment. I Love horses! You can follow me on Twitter for my latest views on the world of KK