The outdated masculine model of sexuality focused on performance in bed is OUT. Sex that values pussy power and female pleasure is most definitely IN, says the sexpert of the dating industry and founder of Tailor Matched Asa Baav.
She shares 4 ways to begin awakening your true female sexual powers
As women we have the birthright and ability to harness the feminine forces that live within us so we can draw our desires towards us with ease.
Want to know how? Read on for my top 4 tips to begin awakening your feminine sexual power.
Claim Your Power
What stories do you tell yourself that separate you from your sexual power? What does power actually mean to you? Is it power over, or power with? Does power make you think of manipulation or erotic playfulness? Is there something that you believe, have experienced or ‘know’ to be ‘true’ that makes you a not-powerful woman?
If you are not as embodied in your sexual power as you desire, first you must ask yourself what sexual power means to you. Because anything/one that keeps you from that place only serves to hide your brilliance.
Get clear on your limiting beliefs around your own sexuality so you can begin to unravel them, either alone with a journal, or with a coach or therapist who can support you.
Own Your Desires
Culturally, women have been taught to be grateful for what we have and not ask for too big a piece of the pie. Our pleasure and desire haven’t exactly been top of the agenda, with research only just emerging now about how long it really takes a woman to become fully aroused, what actually turns us on, and even what the precious anatomy of the clitorus truly looks like. So is it any wonder many women aren’t clear on what they desire?
The writer and therapist Esther Perlel say about desire, “For me, desire is to own the wanting. To desire something is to say, “I want.” For that, there needs to be an “I” that has the right to want, is entitled to want, is deserving to want, has the self-worth to give permission for “I want.” Plus, the knowledge of what you want. Desire is really a fundamental expression of freedom and sovereignty.”
If you’re out of touch with your desires – from what you want to eat (or who) to what car you would love to drive or clothes you’d love to wear, start exploring what it feels like to deeply want your desires – and then notice what happens in your pussy and breasts.
Practice Embodied Sensual Pleasure
We were born sensual beings and are designed to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Pleasure is critical for our health, wellbeing and wholeness. But somewhere along the way we learned to be suspicious of pleasure, and got it confused that what feels good is somehow not good for us.
You cannot own your female power if you don’t fully own your pleasure – and I don’t just mean sexually, I mean enjoying the sensual delight of being alive.
So stop in this moment and connect with your senses: what do you see, smell or hear in your environment or feel in your body right now that pleases you?
Note that on a scale of 1 to 10 and then see what you can do to bring that up a few points. As you increase the pleasure, allow it to be a healing balm in your body, connecting you back to your pleasure. Practice sensual pleasure daily and notice how much more magnetic you are for the things you desire.
Use Breath to Tap Into Your Pussy Power
You cannot be a powerful woman and be afraid of your pussy. And the quickest road to pussy power is via the breath.
Breath practice immediately brings you out of your mind and into your beautiful body and, contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t have to be complicated.
Here is a simple practice to help:
Begin by closing your eyes (if it feels comfortable)
Place one hand on your heart and one on your lower belly
Start breathing through your mouth. Take a breath into your chest. And the next breath into your stomach
With the next breath – bring it all the way down to your pelvic floor. Let yourself feel your pelvic floor. Stretch when you inhale, and relax back when you exhale
With the next breath, imagine the breath like an inner masseuse, sliding in and really like helping you have more room in your body
Bring the breath all the way down to your pelvic floor again and gently squeeze the muscles. Then exhale and relax. Repeat this breath three more times.
Stay in your body and feel the sensations of warmth in your pussy, belly and chest.
Awakening your female sexual power doesn’t have to be complicated. However it does require slowing down from the fast-paced masculine world we live in to drop more fully into sensual pleasure – and that can be challenging. But for women brave enough to reclaim their pussy power, the rewards are orgasmic, awake and abundant.
Asa Baav is founder of Tailor Matched, dating for the wild at heart. She’s on a mission to help people find the deep connection they crave. Find out more tailormatched.com
Hello, I’m Kitten E, Education & Content Manager here at KK. I’m passionate about educating people about sex in order to remove stigmas and judgment.