Fetish… What Is A Fetish?
So, exactly what is a fetish?
Whether you’ve taken a fancy to feet, wagging tails or full-on GIMP masks, fetishes have been a source of wonder for centuries. What is a fetish? Does it have one distinctive definition? Let’s get technical first: Google the term and you’re hit with a selection of statements.
A fetish is getting off on something, be it an activity or an object, where said object or activity IS the reason for an almighty orgasm.
Ok, that’s pretty vanilla; we’ve all got stuff hidden under our pillows for ‘extracurricular hobbies’. Don’t pretend you don’t!
A fetish is an object with magical powers—one we worship because it’s inhabited by a spirit. Can anyone relate to this? Anyone using unicorn horns in the heat of the moment? Do you like to be tied up with mermaid tails? Or sprinkling fairy dust instead of lube? These things aren’t quite so vanilla (and are suitable for a whole other blog post).
A fetish is a fixation, which, if sexual in nature, can be slipped into your sexual repertoire. A sexual fetish isn’t defined by the object but the role it plays—it’s the fetish that contributes to arousal.
We’re all for experimenting with your sexual choices. Find your ‘thing’, and you’ll be quivering your way through an almighty orgasm.
If you lump the term ‘kink’ and ‘fetish’ into the same sentence, then you’ve got all sorts of weird and wonderful things going on. Think mojito meets espresso martini. That’s one hell of a sensory explosion! Images that spring to mind include (not are by no means limited to) black latex, unexplained objects in unexplained places, fingers up bums, toes up bums. Essentially, the possibilities are endless.
You may already be living out a fetish without realising it. We all love a light spanking or a good tying up. Or do we? Apparently, it’s the sex turn on that 95% of women crave. 95%! Spanking goes mainstream!
What is fetishing?
The fetishing definition is pretty similar to that of a fetish—it’s just about having a fetish. However, there are areas where fetishing or ‘fetishising’ someone has problematic and negative connotations.
Fetishising people by race or by sexual preference can be demeaning and offensive. Many would think it would be complimentary to base an attraction and fetish on something that makes a person different. However, stereotypes, clichés, and traits are often dehumanising for the recipient of such an action.
When it comes to what gets you off, choosing to engage in fetishing means being respectful when you use it as part of your fantasies and desires; remember, they’re not just a kink or a fetish, but a person with feelings, values, and emotions.
Here are some of the most widely searched fetishes. Ring any bells with anyone?
1. Anal fetish
Some of the most common fetish terms researched are ‘anal fetish’ and ‘anal toy fetish’.
You don’t need a fetish to have anal sex, but it’s definitely one of the hottest topics debated.
“Have you got your brown wings?” Such a common question during a game of ‘I Have Never’ at University!
Plenty of people enjoy all things butt-hole related. Anal play offers so many possibilities. It allows penetration from just about anything, including fingers, pegging, butt plugs, dildos and, obviously, a penis. The anus is highly sensitive and full of tingly nerve endings (8,000 of them, to be precise!).
An anal fetish—once you remove the taboo—can be a beautiful sexual experience. And, if we can offer our three best words of experienced assistance: lube it up!
2. BDSM fetish
With increasing awareness of the BDSM world (courtesy of Mr Christian Grey), the terms ‘kink’ and ‘fetish’ have become interlinked.
Quite frankly, we love that they are! Activities such as being blindfolded or spanked could be called a BDSM kink, where a BDSM fetish would imply a more obsessive, hardwired compulsion—a more hardcore affinity to a practise or object.
Terms such as submissive fetish and fetish sex toys are widely searched on Google. However, it makes you question, is it the ‘act of fetishing’ that brings about such concepts or objects? Or is it all about being just a little bit kinky?!
3. Feet fetish
The words foot and fetish appear together all the time in searches. Who hasn’t searched for it? Who hasn’t popped ‘foot fetish anal’, ‘foot fetish orgasm’, ‘foot fetish squirt’, or ‘foot fetish sex toys’ into a search engine?
Let’s forget the foot fetish definition, for now, to talk about feet and sex and why people get off on it. Your feet are packed with nerve endings—7,000 of them. There’s a ready-made erogenous zone right there. So why not include them in the bedroom repertoire?
On the ongoing quest for sexual pleasure (which can sometimes be quite unsatisfactory), it’s easy to focus solely on the vag and a-hole. But it’s not just those areas of your body that hold the key to ecstasy.
So, embrace the foot fetish. Clean your toes, oil them, suck them, slide him between both feet and if you’re feeling brave, let him rub your clit with his toes.
4. Cunnilingus fetish
Cunnilingus is the fine art of giving oral sex to anyone with a vagina. Amen to that!
Using your mouth to lick, suck, and even bite is a sex act that doesn’t need to involve penetration. It’s an act so intimate that it’s easy to see why folks could get a, excuse the pun, taste for it.
This fetish is for those who have developed a compulsion to deliver an orgasm using the glorious tongue approach. Who needs a penis!
Putting all the fetish factors together…
Although fetishes are becoming more mainstream, they are still a fairly taboo subject.
Introducing them to your partner or your own self-play can feel intimidating. Touching on four of the main ones doesn’t come anywhere near the extent fetishes can reach.
So, don’t panic if yours don’t align with your partner’s. Instead, keep the communication channels open as to what you like and how you’re feeling. Embrace the new feeling of pleasure from whatever your kink may be!
I am Georgie, Director of customer Services at Killing Kittens, first point of contact for our 100,000 members, problem solver, occasional writer of bits and bobs. Lover of wellington boots, mummy to 2 amazing little people.