Releasing my Inner Kitten

We all have an inner Kitten, just waiting to be let loose and get playful. This happens at different times and under different circumstances for all of us. This is the KK story of Kitten D. How she found her inner Kitten and how it has changed her outlook on life.

I was happy. I was in a relationship with a good man for 12 years. I had a good job in a glamorous industry, lots of single friends and pets. Except I wasn’t happy. I assumed I was happy. Happy to scoot home every night instead of going out with my single friends. Happy to spend my Saturday nights eating too much take away and watching Netflix while my partner sat, drank and watch next to me, but just not close enough that we could even touch each other.

I had been in a sexless relationship for 5 years. For 5 years I held on, hating my body, trying my best not to cheat and trying to save our love. Our love? My love. I was so miserable and my self-esteem was so low I would buy new clothes and never wear them. I kept trying to discuss the lack of desire from my partner, told him how it made me feel. He kept denying it, saying that it wasn’t so bad, he was very much in love with me, just stressed and overworked. I believed him for 5 years, as before that was 7 years of happiness, love, new adventures and loads of hot and good sex.

Then I met Mr. Big. He had just joined at work and he was so hot! I thought immediately he was gay. He wasn’t. He was very straight and very married. We had a spark, his strong voice, his blue eyes, his dirty laugh, and his hands made me wet my knickers every day. It was torture to be in the same room as he was. We went to company dos, Christmas parties, leaving drinks. We managed to keep our pants on despite some hardcore flirting and a couple of kisses but I went home sexually frustrated and horny like never before in my life. My collection of rabbits grew but I missed the excitement of having a body to play with, a body that would respond to lips, hands, and nails and would wrap me in warm soothing intimacy afterward. That killed what remained of my relationship. That and the numbness towards the misery my partner wasn’t even trying to hide anymore. I decided to end the agony of both my dying rapport and my unfulfillable passion.

I wanted more

A few months of ordinary sex fetched through online dating apps made me realise I was not meeting my match so to speak. I wanted more than Netflix and chill, maybe as a result of such a prolonged abstinence, or maybe because my idea of sex wasn’t exactly “vanilla”. I, however, did not know I was quirky…I definitely did not consider myself kinky. I got back in shape, got really fit and possibly, as a result, I was ridiculously horny all the time. I felt like there was something wrong with me. Until I met my friend L.

L was a breath of fresh air in my life and suddenly I had someone I could share my secret frustrations and self-doubts. L and a small group of very inspiring single women – who like me – had endured difficult relationships and were brave enough to see them through. L and I had in common a strong sex drive and a wish to enjoy life and sex. Summertime on our side, we would go on dates and then tell each other everything over cocktails, without holding back. Our summer was a three months long episode of Sex and the City.

She met a guy who invited her to a hedonistic party. I was curious and eager to try. She mentioned KK to me during one of our drinking seshes, on my way home I googled it, read about it and joined. Within 5 days of signing up, I was going to my first party…alone. I didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t join the pre-party chat and didn’t know anyone who was going. I was not prepared.

My First KK experience

My first party was for me a shock to the system, I was overwhelmed. It was pretty full on, I don’t know what I was expecting, maybe I was expecting a different vibe, more like a bar full of singles to flirt with, but it was full of beautiful couples and s many beautiful Kittens. I chatted with a few people and ended up making out with a married lady. The moment we kissed I felt a rush of blood through my veins and between my thighs. I ran my fingertips all over her silky dress, followed her curves and pulled her skirt up to touch her skin…supple, smooth, sexy. I stroke her, kissed her, held her face and was ready to keep going, but she stopped and went back to her partner, so I left bittersweet but with a new discovery about myself and how I feel about girls.

I kept going. I attended a couple of kurious kittens events, socials, and workshops. The people were so friendly, it gave me a true sense of belonging, and the boost I needed to book my next experience. I attended a KK Inner Sanctum singles party I met a few girls: sassy, sexy, confident and free, open and welcoming. We shared hot cuddles on a couch all night. We kissed and played with each other’s bodies, at one point there were 4 girls playing with me and a bunch of guys behind, just staring. I was kissing them holding the back of their head in my hand, stroking their luscious hair and running my fingers down their backs. I was sucking the delicate skin between their breasts and feel them quiver as I bit their nipples gently and plunged my fingers between their legs.

I found my inner kitten and boy she was playful!

Since then I’d given it some thought and decided I was a bit over the online dating. I knew a great deal more about myself and my sexuality and how important it is for my happiness. I wanted to enjoy creating a strong bond of intimacy and attraction with someone who would know exactly how to awaken my senses and inspire my wild side, push my boundaries over time and help me learn how much of a complex wild kitten I am. I decided that if I ever was to give a go again at a meaningful relationship with someone, this human would have to be willing to keep the fire alive and worship every inch of my body. No more sexless life for the sake of love.

I wanted someone who could love my soul monogamously and be my partner in crime. I could only do that with someone I trusted and felt secure with. Someone who would appreciate the difference between shagging around and enjoying the atmosphere and playful freedom of a KK event: where people are warm, welcoming, caring and understand sex as a shared experience; they are also aware that relationships are made of complex layers of feelings and emotions: they can be deep, exclusive and treasured between two partners.

My life journey was about to take a turn that I would have not even fathomed 6 months before, and I couldn’t wait.