How to Practice BDSM Breath Play Safely

New to BDSM practices and need a little guidance? Here’s how to take your partner’s breath away with a kinky introduction to breath play.

If the fantasy of a strong pair of hands around your throat turns you on, you’re certainly not alone, With most Kittens and Toms interested in kink, breath play is on many bedroom bucket lists. Who doesn’t love a little light choking to get your heart (and desire) racing?

The first time I experienced breath play I was a little nervous, until I realised I was about to have a mind-blowing orgasm. Breath play is probably one of the riskiest kinks associated with BDSM, but it’s also one of the sexiest – as long as you practice trust between you and your partner. As with all BDSM, breath play requires an enormous amount of communication.

What is BDSM breath play?

Breath play involves temporarily restricting the airways during sex for heightened arousal and sexual pleasure. For some, the appeal of breath play is all about the euphoric sensations they get when they restrict the airways just before orgasm. This is sometimes referred to as erotic asphyxiation. For others, the appeal is more to do with the feeling of being overpowered or dominated, which is why it’s such a popular BDSM kink.

Whether you’re looking to establish a Dom/Sub dynamic in your sex life, or you’re seeking a heightened thrill, exploring breath play can be a very fun way of introducing power-play dynamics and spicing things up in the bedroom.

and if you’re wondering how you can take your partner’s breath away (literally), I have a few tips on how to explore this kink safely.

How to practice breath play safely

When it comes to any kind of power play, anticipation is half the fun. BDSM is all about tapping into your partner’s desires and exploring them in ways that leave them begging for more, so you don’t need to dive off the deep end with this, Kittens and Toms. My number one piece of advice to make breath play fun is to take things slow and go at your own pace.

First, let’s talk about safewords. A safeword should always be used during any kind of kink play but speaking can become restricted during breath play. The solution to this is a safe gesture. Whether you’re thinking of experimenting with choking, ball gags, or even hoods or masks, you can signal to your partner with a pre-agreed safe gesture, such as a raised hand or two taps on their arm.

With this in mind, you’ll need to put the handcuffs and ropes away and save those for another night of kinky exploration because bondage and breath play don’t usually mix well.

Once you’ve got the safety elements laid down, there are a few different methods you can try for breath play experimentation.

A firm hand and a stern look

If you’re the Dom or ‘top’, start with placing your hands. This will ensure you’re in control at all times. A firm but tender hand around the neck, when done safely, can be all it takes to get your partner’s pulse racing. You don’t actually have to choke your partner to the point of breathing difficulty. Fantasies can remain just that, a fantasy! This means you can play up control you have over them at that moment and simply use your hand’s positioning and your aura to turn them on and bring them closer to climax.

Execution is key here. Your position, eye contact and words will all play a role in taking your partner to that place of sweet euphoria. Use your assertive voice. Tell them what you want them to do with strict instructions. Use phrases like “your mine” to really make your Submissive feel at your mercy.

This might feel a bit odd if you haven’t done it before, but if you can really let go and release your inhibitions, you’ll be channelling your inner Dom before you know it. If you have a sadistic side, you will love seeing the look in your Sub’s eyes as they slowly move through the stages of fear and ecstasy.

Take their breath away

If both partners agree you’d like to take this feeling further, you could try slowly moving your hands away from their neck and placing them over their nose and mouth for a few seconds. How long you’ll hold their breath for should be pre-agreed beforehand during that all-important communication and consent stage. Then, implement the agreed plan as part of the play by telling your partner in your Dom voice how long you’ll hold their breath for. Your stern look and commanding voice will make breath play all the more thrilling for your Sub as they feel totally overpowered by you.

Try starting off with short bursts of restricting your partner’s breath and build your way up from there. Don’t be afraid to communicate throughout if you need to – especially during the first few tries.

If this feels a little too much, you can try holding your own breath to experience the same rush of euphoria. As the Dom, you can command your Sub to hold their breath for a set amount of time (with the added promise of punishment if they don’t comply, of course). This keeps the power play dynamics flowing but allows the Sub more control over the physical nature of this kink. This is a great way to dip your toes into the world of breath play if you’re completely new to BDSM.

Talk your partner through it, look into their eyes and play on their feelings. It’s about finding that balance of fear and seduction that will really send your partner to new heights. One hand firmly around the neck leaves another free for exploring all those erogenous zones. Slowly making your way down to their penis or clitoris as they patiently wait for their next breath, is what really makes breath play a powerful tool for mind-blowing orgasms.

Kurious to know more?

We hope you have fun experimenting with these BDSM breath play methods at home. If you want to find out more about kink play, stay tuned with our upcoming events and workshops on all things BDSM and kink. We’d love to see you there.


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