Yoni Maintenance

Okay, so we all know how to wash our bits in the shower. That’s a given. But this post hopes to help you keep below deck spick, span and healthy.

There are so many products, be that in the form of wipes, soaps, sprays or perfumes, that aim to keep your flower blooming and smelling of roses. With the copious amounts of products, it sends out a message to women of the world that vaginas are ‘unclean’ without extra attention.

The irony is, that they are certainly not. They are exactly the same as the rest of your body, meaning that if you leave it without a bath for a week, then yes, it can become dirty. They need a bit of care, just like everything else on your body, in order to remain healthy. The reason for this post is to bust those myths – there’s a hell of a lot of bad advice online on how to keep your vag clean, and believe it or not, those products mentioned earlier aren’t necessary to make your lady parts shine!

Step one:

Slip out of your knickers when hopping into bed. Super simple, but a massive aid for women who are unfortunate enough to get recurring yeast infections. When you slip into bed, make sure your knickers are popped in the wash basket and you’re definitely not wearing them when you fall asleep. Wearing underwear, regardless of material, traps moisture against the skin, which results in yeast and bacterial growth. Either wear cotton shorts or jammy bottoms or wear your birthday suit to bed – I vote for the latter.

Step Two:

Understand that diet impacts everything. Absolutely everything – even your lady parts. When you’ve been given antibiotics by your Doctor, do you remember them telling you to eat foods that are high in bacteria? Like yogurt? Well, that’s because within those creamy treats, are a vast amount of ‘good bacteria’, which helps your immune system. It, therefore, prevents yeast infections and keeps all you PH levels balanced. Yogurt should be on your shopping list every week!

Step Three:

Change your bloody tampon! The general rule is to change your tampon every four to eight hours, stated by The American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists. While it’s okay to sleep with your tampon in, please make sure you change it the minute you wake up!


Wash your vulva just like you’d wash your armpits. As it’s covered in skin, you’re absolutely fine to clean it the same way you’d clean the rest of your body, just in a bit of a gentler manner. Don’t shove soap up the opening of your vagina – it could cause itchiness as your body is reacting and rejecting it, and could ultimately lead to an infection (yogurt at the ready!).

Water is best

If there was a product label for your vagina that one-ups the USP of a penis, it’s that our babies are self-cleaning! The vagina actually has a low PH, which therefore prevents infection and the growth of ‘bad bacteria’ all by itself as best as it can! Therefore, ditch those specialised fanny soaps – there’s really no need to waste your hard earned money on them.

And while we’re on that, and listen closely: do not use scented products. This is an absolutely crucial takeaway from this post. Despite smelling nice, scented products can lead to something nasty. Using the highly perfumed products is fine under your arms or your feet, but the products can irritate the vagina, leading to infection or a hell of an itch. Advertising products that promise to make your lady parts smell like a rainbow is completely unnecessary, provides a negative message to all womankind and ultimately leads to a bacterial infection. Ditch it.


Also, consider the underwear you’re wearing. While we’ve told you to go commando when you get into bed, we are aware that you might not feel entirely comfortable going commando when you’re at work or you’re at your parent’s house. With that said, you should consider wearing cotton underwear. It’s a beautifully breathable material. Although thongs are sexier (perhaps), they are uncomfortable and can increase your likelihood to get a UTI. Cotton is cute! A great product to consider is Derma Silk underwear. The clothing is made of a special, knitted medical grade silk and bonded with Microbe Shield technology. It is far superior to cotton because it maintains a stable moisture balance without causing irritation to the skin. DermaSilk helps reduce the terrible ‘itch-scratch cycle’ and its special knitted construction allows the free movement of air through the fabric, allowing the skin to breathe more easily and promoting faster healing. Derma silk can help with symptoms of thrush, Vulvodynia and Menopausal Symptoms.

Urinating is good 

You’d be surprised at how the time of urination can help you keep hygienic. The best way to prevent a UTI is by weeing both before and after sex. While we know it could kill the mood a touch, it’s more important to pee after sex than before. Even though it’s not the same hole, the result is linked. If you manage to go for a wee, it gets rid of all the urine that sits in your bladder, which will then prevent the possibility of bacteria multiplying within your body.

Sex Toys

Be careful about what you’re using as a sex toy. And keep ‘em clean at that! While we’re sure that this is old news, I wouldn’t be doing my job without reminding you: your sex toys, whatever shape or size they are, need to be properly cleaned after each use. Using an unscented soap does the trick – especially if you have a water resistant toy. If not, you can purchase sex toy wipes which does the same thing. And while we’re on it, if you’ve used a toy toward the rear end (your arse), then please do not pop it in the front! You need to consider that the bacteria that lives within your rectum and anus is a whole different breed to the bacteria in the rest of your body. They shouldn’t be mixed! This concept can be applied to toys, fingers, dicks, condoms – anything that has the potential to penetrate you.

Don’t Douche

Finally, and probably something you’ve heard from your doctor: do not use a douche. It’s a completely unnecessary practice and it actually achieves nothing. While the advertising states that it creates a magically clean interior that you could eat your dinner of, I assure you that this is a myth. Douching, in fact, results in popping harmful chemicals called phthalates into your vagina, leading to nasty infections and an anything but clean fanny!