You’ve joined KK, you’ve booked the party, and BOOM!, The nerves havekicked in. You might even secretly ask yourself: What if I’m not sexy enough?!
Well of course you are. Nonetheless, we here at KK have created a guide for all of our members, new and old, to help you feel your sexiest while at KK parties – and while anywhere else!
You don’t need to be an underwear model to rock a sexy attitude. Sexiness comes from within. Contrary to what modern media would have us believe, it is not determined by how you look, but rather by how you feel about yourself.
If you’re not an individual for whom sexiness feels easy to access, these are some little tips that might help you along your sexiness self-recognition journey. We welcome you to this journey of self-discovery, and we’re proud to share our sexiness-knowledge with you now!
Tip 1: Feeling Sexy = Being Sexy
Sexiness is a state of mind.
When we feel sexy, we are sexy. And the best part of this is? It doesn’t matter what you look like.
Instead of concentrating on those bits of you that make you feel insecure, focus on what you love most about yourself. There is so much to each individual person that makes us all uniquely sexy, and the only way to embody that sexiness is to be open to it for ourselves first and foremost. Most of us tend to focus on the things we are unhappy with, either intentionally or intentionally, and this can make us feel worse overall about ourselves, often also impacting how we relate to others.
Forget the body hang-ups, and embrace the parts of you that make you feel most turned on. This could be physical attributes, personality attributes, or parts of yourself that you like to explore mainly during sex. Concentrate on the things you love most: your cleverness, your laughter, or something physical. Focus on these parts, and praise them as frequently as you can. The words we speak about ourselves are the words we hear most often – more than any other opinions or pronouncements from people around us. Praise those parts of yourself that you like as many times as you can a day, and when you catch yourself thinking or speaking down to yourself – challenge those outdated, incorrect, and biased opinions. Thank them for their time, and send them on their way.
Speak kindness and sexiness into your opinion of yourself, and soon you will start to believe those kinder words.
Tip 2 – Self Love
Trust us when we say: practice makes perfect. You have to practice self-love and acceptance every day, for a minimum of 30 days if you want to start to build it as a new habit! But no matter how long you have, practicing this tip will start to shift how you feel about yourself after just a few sessions.
So! As soon as you have booked the party, every day leading up to it try and write a list of things you love about yourself. Really, this works! Say mantras in the mirror, and maybe keep a journal. Hint- sometimes we need to praise what we feel most insecure about, or tell ourselves frequently how sexy those traits are to start rewriting the internal narratives we have accepted as facts. Once you begin the work of accepting yourself for who you are, and all the things that make you uniquely sexy, then sexiness will flow..
Tip 3 – Challenge Yourself
A great way to add excitement to a sex life is to challenge your comfort zone. This does not mean ignore your own boundaries and do things that put you in situations you will regret. It does mean asking yourself where you are now, and what you might be interested in trying, whether in solo or partnered play. Most importantly, you should experiment for yourself, and/or with your partner/s with clear safe words and open communication. Check out this article for discussions of great pratices to learn from the BDSM community on talking about sex, and how to try new things – safely and sexily – together. Sometimes moving away from the things you are most comfortable with, and changing up your usual sexual routine can help you unlock doors that have previously felt closed.. Of course, joining KK parties and our app is a perfect way to do this!
You can also try changing up your wardrobe, or treating yourself to something you wouldn’t normally wear, but might have always wanted to try. Perhaps buy some new cologne, or some new makeup. Even just a little bit of self-pampering can feel like you have created a new version of yourself. A new version that, because of the care you have put into yourself, is somehow allowed to feel sexier. Sometimes all it takes is some time spent with yourself for you to tap into your natural sexiness!
Tip 4 – Take Care Of Yourself
Sometimes we struggle to connect with feeling sexy when we don’t feel our best, or when we haven’t had time to connect to ourselves, and what we may need. It might sound like common sense, but most people tend to forget to look after themselves on a day to day basis. Life is busy, especially if you have a family to look after, and oftentimes we forget to look after ourselves. So, to tap into our unique feelings of sexy, we all need to dedicate some time and energy into your own self-care. This can look like many different things: reading a book, going for a walk, sitting with your thoughts or putting them in a journal, eating some of your favourite foods. The most important thing is to check in with all of yourself: your mind, body, and soul.
Statistics show that low self-image and low body-esteem are some of the leading causes of depression in people. A high majority of people tend to opt-out of important life activities and events because they are not feeling their best. Our goal at KK is to help you celebrate yourself in all of your sexy glory, and join in to new life adventures. We want to invite everyone to choose to opt- in, rather than miss out due to a lack of self-love or a sense of low confidence.
Self-care is about treating yourself right. Being whatever healthy means to you, and getting enough sleep! Focusing your mind and energy on the positives as well as altering your self-talk and posture is proven to lower stress. Take care of your body and your mind, and you’ll be surprised how easy it will be to feel sexy.
Tip 5 – Embrace The Flirt
What better platform could you have than the KK site, with group chats and pre-party chats to have a digital flirt with other members in the lead up to a party? A flirty message or a naughty photo share could work to increase your confidence leading up to interacting face-to-face. Flirting has the power to make you feel adventurous, and oftentimes the empowerment can make us feel sexy.
Flirting doesn’t have to be hard work either! It can be fun and light hearted. Playfully teasing and giving flirtatious compliments is always a good start if you aren’t feeling overly confident about-face to face flirting, but want to know where to begin.
Tip 6 – Personal Hygiene & Pamper
Feeling clean and cared-for can do wonderful things to your attitude about yourself. There’s no reason why washing and keeping clean and tidy shouldn’t at least be a little fun and enjoyable.
A nice bath, or a cool shower just before the party, or lathering yourself in lush smelling products can instantly boost your mood. Just be sure to check and test all new products before you pop them all over your body – no one wants to have a bad reaction when trying to feel sexy in the lead up to our parties!
When you feel groomed and sparkly it’ll be reflected in how you act, feel and even move. Feeling good is a central theme to making you seem sexier to those around you.
Groom your intimate areas as you like: do whatever makes you feel comfortable and sexy. There is no right or wrong, so long as you are keeping clean and taking care of yourself, have your personal spots however you want them.
Feeling clean and fresh will boost your self-esteem and your body confidence without much effort. Plus knowing you have good personal and intimate hygiene can also make feeling sexy a more enjoyable and pleasurable night for you and others.
Tip 7 – Go After Your Fantasies
KK party is a place to fulfil your deepest fantasies, while feeling safe and respecting others. So take all of your newfound sense of sexy, and go for it! Follow those sexy dreams and make them a reality, while feeling good about yourself and all of the things that make you, you.
Tip 8 – You Are Your Own Sexy
Try not to compare yourself to others. The whole definition of sexy is different from person to person. So OWN who YOU are, and what makes you sexy.
You are unique, and your life has a different path to everyone else’s. No one can be you but you.
So there you have it, our 8 steps to feeling sexy.
Want to put them to the test? Sign up to KK here.