Slow things down, and turn up the heat with our introduction to temperature play.
Are you kurious about BDSM? The beauty of BDSM is that there’s pretty much a kinky activity for every night of the week, so you can switch things up depending on what mood you’re in.
A lot of people assume that BDSM is all about whips and chains, but did you know that BDSM can also be incredibly sensual too?
When it comes to any kind of power play, I always say that anticipation is half the fun. BDSM is all about tapping into your partner’s desires and exploring them in ways that leave them begging for more.
And this is what temperature play is all about! Also known as sensation play, this style of BDSM is about slowing down and teasing your partner by either heightening their senses or restricting them. In doing so, you allow your partner to focus on exactly what you’re doing to their body.
Temperature play is great to incorporate into foreplay and for creating more intimate BDSM scenes that can bring you and your partner closer together, as well as heighten arousal and intensify orgasms. Sounds incredible, right? So let’s get into it…
How to introduce temperature play
A BDSM kink I often get asked about is temperature play. Have you ever used ice cubes or warm melted chocolate in the bedroom? Then you’ve already dabbled with temperature play, which is all about playing around with hot and cold temperatures and creating different sensations on the skin.
Here’s a fun fact for all you sapiosexuals out there: the science behind this kink is that changes in temperature excite our neuroreceptors, and this can heighten arousal, which I think we can all agree, sounds pretty fun.
When it comes to BDSM, wax play is one of the most popular forms of temperature play. While this might sound scary at first, using candle wax as a form of temperature play can be incredibly sensual and seductive.
Wax Play For Beginners
To try this at home, you’ll want to invest in a good set of bondage candles, which are designed to burn at a lower temperature than regular candles, so you can be sure you won’t burn the skin. Start off by lighting the candle and dripping the wax from about an arm’s length away from the body. The closer you bring the candles to the skin (never coming closer than 20cm), the more deliciously warm the sensation will become. You can increase and decrease this intensity as much as you like to drive your partner wild.
Not only does wax feel amazing on the skin, it also looks incredibly beautiful. Think of your partner as your blank canvas to turn into a stunning piece of erotic art. Experiment with different colours and patterns across every inch of their skin. Be kind (or not so kind) to sensitive areas such as the inner thighs and breasts, but be sure to stay away from the genitals! Ouch!
Dial It Back: Playing With Cool Sensations
Temperature play is great fun because it’s so versatile. After all, you have a whole range of heat to play with, from warm oozy wax or oils to frosty ice cubes.
Explore with running ice cubes over your partner’s body before licking or sucking where the ice has just been. The quick changes from cold to heat creates delicious sensations.
Some places that react well to cold are the neck, the nipples and the inner thighs. Genitals can also enjoy some cooler touches, although be careful about applying ice directly to a penis or vulva as this can be numbing. You can play with holding an ice cube in your mouth before you go down on your partner, to give your mouth a different feel.
Temperature and Anticipation
Coming back to the theme of anticipation, temperature play can really get your partner aroused when paired with bondage and blindfolds. The combination of being restrained and unable to see what your partner is going to do next is sure to get their mind racing.
TOP TIP: Whatever you decide to use, be sure to test it on the skin prior to play, especially for anyone with sensitive skin. And put a towel down to minimise clean up so there’s more time to enjoy aftercare.
Whether you’re into other areas of BDSM or not, temperature play is a sensual practice to experiment with power play dynamics in the bedroom.
Remember: consent is sexy, communication is sexy, and aftercare is sexy. So always make time for these throughout those steamy sessions. If you’re curious to find out more about BDSM then keep an eye out for our upcoming events and workshops on all things BDSM and kink.
Sarah Butcher, aka Sub in the City, is a sex-positive BDSM & Kink educator who’s goal is to empower others to explore their sexuality, providing a safe and welcoming space for you to gain a deeper understanding of BDSM practices and introduce them into your sex lives with confidence.