How to masturbate, and why it’s good for you! Let’s focus on self-pleasure!
There’s no magic formula for how to masturbate, no one-size-fits-all, and there definitely isn’t a single trick we can give that will make you scream from the rooftops. So, should we search for new ways to masturbate? How often should you masturbate? Which positions should women masturbate in?
Everybody is different, and every body is different, so we’ve put together our guide into How to masturbate for women (with the help of Jessica Parker) to help you along your journey to masturbation bliss.
Better solo sex helps to create better-partnered sex! Too often, we expect our partners to know how to please us, yet if we don’t know how to please ourselves, how can we expect our partners to know? Once we know ourselves on a deeper level, we can articulate and communicate with our partners what works for us.
How should women masturbate?
There are loads of different great ways to masturbate! It won’t surprise you that ‘How to wank’ is a hugely searched term yet rarely openly discussed!
Usually, it involves touching our genitals and erogenous zones in a pleasurable way—this can look very different for different people. The great thing about masturbation is that you can try ALL the techniques and see what you’re into—it’s free and fun.
Our best tip is to set aside time where you won’t be interrupted so you can relax in a sea of ‘me time’ and get to know your body without any stress. Lelo, an affiliate of KK, is always a great go-to for tips and to read about their latest ‘toys to aid masturbation’ reviews—our fave being the Lelo Sona Cruise review!
Types of masturbation
- Clitoral– Usually using your fingers and playing with your clitoris. You can also bring in vibrators and other toys for added pleasure. Clitoral orgasms feel tingly along your skin and in your brain. Most women find it easier to orgasm through clitoral stimulation. While you experiment with how to masturbate the clit, know that it loves repetition. Play around with the pressure to see what you respond best to. Build it up and slow it down if it gets too sensitive.
- Vaginal– Again, usually with your fingers or a sex toy but this time penetrating your vagina. People tend to find it harder to orgasm this way, with most reporting that they’ve never had a vaginal orgasm. But, when you do, you’ll feel it deeper in your body, and your vaginal walls will throb. Some people like to mimic the ‘come hither’ motion rather than an in-and-out movement. Repeat the moves that feel good and pay attention to the feeling building up.
- Anal– People always forget about the butt while talking about great ways to masturbate. Again, using fingers or sex toys, you can orgasm through anal stimulation. Most people recommend using a toy as it can be quite hard to reach around. Right before you orgasm, you might feel an intense need to pee, only this time, the contractions are around your anal sphincter. Remember that butts don’t naturally produce lube, so make sure you have plenty to hand.
- Combo– This is where you can get crazy; it’s one of the top ways to masturbate. Using both hands, you can play with your clit whilst penetrating the vagina or using a combination of sex toys and fingers. Double-teaming the clit and vagina can cause an explosive orgasm that might even lead to ejaculation.
- Erogenous Zones – Last but by no means least, we should all be playing with our erogenous zones. These include nipples, inner thighs, ears, neck and other parts of your body that you can rub, pinch, pull or squeeze during sex causing pleasure. These are all great to get your partner to do whilst you play with yourself.
How often should you masturbate?
Different people will have different answers to this question. Things like hormonal changes, libido fluctuations, and stress levels—such factors will affect how often you should masturbate.
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong amount of masturbation if you’re not causing harm to yourself or those around you. There are so many different ways a girl (Kitten) can masturbate. Some of my clients worry that they’re doing it ‘too much’, and others worry that they’re doing it ‘too little’.
Some of you will rarely take the time to pleasure yourself, and for others, just reading this will make you masturbate!
So, getting back to the original question, how often should a woman masturbate? Generally, if we think we’re doing too little or too much of something, we usually know the answer to our question. It might be that we’re procrastinating or avoiding dealing with something else; it can be helpful to ask ourselves the question, ‘What would my ideal masturbation practice look like?’
If you’re happy with how much you’re doing it, then fine! Keep going! Your actions will make you want to masturbate, so don’t change your winning formula.
Do all women masturbate?
Of course not; some prefer (and/or need) a connection with a partner to get themselves turned on.
Is masturbation good for you?
Absolutely! It’s great for relaxation, self-regulation, self-love, generating happy hormones, and releasing endorphins!
There are so many great ways to masturbate, so the fun is in the trying!
What is the best way to masturbate?
In short, there isn’t one; there are so many great ways to self-pleasure.
Usually, no one teaches us how to touch ourselves, so we usually learn to do it in secret, quickly and quietly with lots of tension and sometimes with shame, which isn’t a great way to learn to be sexual.
In our sexualised society, we can soon find out how to ‘get the sex’, but once we’re having sex, we struggle to have any real pleasure and tend to be more in our heads and in performative modes.
If we can learn how to enjoy self-pleasure and celebrate our bodies, we can feel ourselves at a deeper level without pressure. Without any such expectations, we can expand and deepen our own pleasure potential. The best ways to masturbate are the ways that bring you the most pleasure. Just don’t forget to experiment; there could be something bigger, better, and more explosive, ready and waiting to be figured out.
What toys to use when masturbating?
There are so many different things to masturbate with, with loads of sex toys on the market and plenty of variations to suit all tastes. If you don’t know where to start, try heading to a good quality, friendly sex shop and ask the shop assistants.
Sh! is a great place to visit. They’ve seen it all before and only want to help people, so don’t feel embarrassed or shy. They’re happy to share the best ways to masturbate for women just like you and all the tools, toys, tips, and tricks they’ve got on their shelves.
To kick off your Kitten masturbation exploration, you can’t go wrong with a good vibrator to stimulate the clitoris or try a rabbit vibrator if you want to stimulate both the clitoris and the G-spot simultaneously.
What are the best positions for masturbating?
There is no single best position to masturbate. Any of your masturbation positions that allow lots of movement, breath, sound, and obviously access to touching where you want to touch without tension/pins and needles/cramp.
If you want to touch your nipples and anus at the same time—the ‘recovery position’ (with loads of cushions) can be great for that. Ideally, not crouched over a laptop or phone!
Using a mirror to watch yourself can be very educational/inspiring. Get to know your vagina, what it looks like, where exactly you’re touching. It will feel weird at first, but trust me, you’ll love it in the end.
The dos and don’ts of masturbation
Learning to feel what you’re actually feeling rather than thinking about what you should be feeling can really help expand and connect with different sensations and discover new pleasure pathways.
If you find you masturbate the same way each time, try setting aside time to explore other ways to pleasure yourself. There are so many different ways for women to masturbate; how do you know which one’s your favourite if you don’t try them all!
Many of my clients have issues with not being able to orgasm with a partner, as they’ve become too dependent on the direct hard and fast clitoris stimulation from their vibrators, so when having oral sex or experiencing softer touches, they’re not as sensitive. Numbing out is something I support people with—especially women—by suggesting ways women can masturbate to feel more subtle touches and learning new ways to orgasm.
Top tips on how to masturbate (for women)!
When it comes to you lot and our top tips for Kitten masturbation, we say, “Variation!” Didn’t you hear that variety is the spice of life? Take all the time you need to find new ways to pleasure yourself—you’ll be glad you did!
There are infinite different ways a girl can masturbate. Try different positions, environments, and lubrications (organic oils, CBD lube). Create your own masturbation playlist—rhythm dictates your movements; choose slower, more sensual music that inspires you to take your time rather than being super quick.
If you’re dependent on porn or vibrators, use porn/toys to get you to a certain arousal level, then look away and put the toy down, focussing on using your hands and feeling different sensations before going back to the porn and toys. There are so many good ways to masturbate that don’t involve toys or external stimulation; it’s a must to mix up your Kitten masturbation practices, especially if they’re building other issues into your sex or solo-sex-life.
Learn to massage yourself sensually!
Hello, I’m Kitten E, Education & Content Manager here at KK. I’m passionate about educating people about sex in order to remove stigmas and judgment.