Introducing sex toys into the bedroom when you already have another half can be somewhat daunting, especially if it’s something that has never been discussed before, but it can really add another dimension of pleasure to your sex life and spice things up in seconds. Although, here at KK we are fully aware that it could be a little bit of an awkward conversation starter, and that’s what this blog post is for: a few dos and don’ts toward introducing a third member (so to speak) into the bedroom with you.
Have you ever wanted to say something but you were afraid of how it came out? Ever chickened out and put it in a text message instead? There is no difference here – and if you’re feeling a little awkward or uncomfortable about asking verbally, then open up that Whatsapp and send your other half a little message. Perhaps send them a link to a few sex toys you have been interested in (check our other blog post for more top tips on this!) or ask them if they have ever used anything like this before. You can go into more depth later on, but this just breaks the ice and lets your other half know that you’re into giving this a go. However, a top tip here: send it to their personal number rather than something that is tracked by work (this has happened to me and I will never live it down. Office parties are great!)
Keep the way you are asking nice and light-hearted. Have a giggle about it, and reassure your partner that it is 100% not to replace them. Many times, the reason someone will tense up at the sound of sex toy is because they feel that their original performance is not good enough and that you are not fully satisfied with the sex they are currently providing you with. However, if you explain to them that it’s simply to try something new (very much like trying a new restaurant) and it’s not in any way shape or form to replace them, then the sound of using a toy will automatically become a lot more appealing.
Also, it’s important to start small. As per the previous paragraph, should you select a massive dildo the size of your arm, your other half will feel a little put out by this and automatically presume his ding-dong isn’t fulfilling your needs. While that may or may not be true, try not to damage his ego by selecting a smaller toy. It would be worthwhile browsing through the options together (again, check our previous post for some first class options). Like anything, it’s important to get used to something before you expect life changing results. Think back to your first time and I can assure you that your sex life now will be 10000 times better, and that’s because you have experimented, practiced and learned what you like. This is no different. So don’t splurge all your money on a sex toy that you haven’t tried before that is really high tech. Work up to that once you know that this toy is the right size, shape and style for you.
Oh! And while you may have seen hundreds of pornos when the lady just whips out a dildo, please be aware that this could majorly backfire. Make sure your other half knows that you are keen to introduce a toy into the bedroom and that they are aware of it before you take it out of your bedside draw half way through a sex-sesh. Once they know that you want to use one, it’s then completely up to you when you want to use it.
Once you have the go-ahead, have a stroll through the best toys to use as a couple. We’ve created a list of the top toys in the UK and given you a brief oversight as to why they are so successful.
- WeVibe Match Couples Vibrator
This beauty is perfect for use as a couple. You can actually insert this forward-thinking, technical little toy during sex, and let me tell you: it feels amazing. It comes with a remote, which allows you to hand over your pleasure to your partner. While the shape is a little unique and different, don’t let that put you off. This vibrator allows internal and external pleasure for you both, whatever the dynamic of your relationship. It allows you to select the intensity that suits you best (remember to start off slow and build up!).} If you insert it accurately, then it’ll rub against a guy’s perineum, which will feel awesome. It’s also rechargeable and has a charging cable that comes with it (just like your phone), and a beautiful silk bag that it can live in. Furthermore, it’s more or less silent, and the shape of it makes the toy discreet. Finally, it’s waterproof – and everyone loves shower sex!
This toy is made out of very soft silicone, which encourages maximum comfort and pleasure. It also comes with a wireless remote, much like the WeVibe toy that we’ve previously looked at. Again, this means that the intensity and vibration speed can be altered depending on what you’re into. The remote can be used at a distance of three times greater than average toys, so take that as you will (because secret sex in public places is also incredibly hot). With a total of 8 different vibration modes, you’re sure to find the perfect one for you – AND the vibrations are said to be up to 50% more powerful than most toys on the market. This is, too, rechargeable, ensuring that you don’t have to buy batteries all the time, so despite it’s original high cost, it’s upkeeping is almost free (other than cleaning it: make sure you clean your toys after use!). This toy is great if you’re looking to experiment with something to find what you like. I’d say that this is a fantastic toy to move onto once you’re used to using a toy with your partner. You can buy this toy online, and while it’s a little pricey, it’s most certainly worth it.
The word ‘crescendo’ means ‘the highest point reached in a progressive increase of intensity,’ which is a perfect title for this toy. It’s a bit of a funny shape, looking slightly like a boomerang, but the shape is what will help you reach O town. This luxury vibrator allows personalised experiences for each user, with the idea in mind that no two women are the same, and therefore why should their sexual experiences be? As a result, there is a downloadable app that works in tangent to this toy, ensuring that it learns each curve and pulse within you to maximise the pleasure it provides you with. The app allows the toy to be used via Bluetooth, which means that your partner is in complete control of your pleasure. Whether they want to tease you or bring you to orgasm is up to them – and that level of control is oh so deliciously sexy. This toy is for people who prefer penetration rather than clitoral stimulation, but it’s luxury in it’s sexiest form. It’s very expensive, but it’s totally and utterly worth it.
A toy that is a little different from the previous three. These balls are a godsend and can make a trip to your supermarket. It doubles up as a sensual delight as well as a pelvic floor trainer. Slip them in whilst you are pleasuring him to ensure both of you are receiving sensual sensations, and the thought of them inside you will drive him mad – be that at home on your sofa or in a fancy restaurant. These are sure to spice things up and make the most mundane experiences sexy.
So all in all, make sure you introduce the idea of using a toy delicately, with complete reassurance that it is in no way to replace your partner. Give them the option to look at the toys with you, as they will then feel more involved in the process and start small. Here’s hoping your extra addition will elevate your sex life from the sky into the stars!
Hello, I am Kitten T the Editor of #itsakittensworld, passionate about sexual liberation and anything which encourages female sexual empowerment. I Love horses! You can follow me on Twitter for my latest views on the world of KK