Don’t Bother to Dress Up

A book review from within the KK family! We bring you the Sayle Matriarch’s newly published book, Don’t Bother to Dress Up.

Maly Sayle’s book looks at middle age, divorce, dementia, living in a room surrounded by condoms and signing up to a dating website at the age of 56. Ever wanted a little insight into the lives of the Sayles? Buy Maly’s book on Amazon.

Suddenly single at 56, with a whole heap of reality to deal with, Maly’s real life experience is weaved through the book. A story of heartbreak, Lizzie embarks on a journey many would struggle to cope with. Maly’s resilience, along with some dark humour, makes this a compelling and incredibly relatable read for anyone who has been dealt a hand that was not part of life’s plan.

 

Teddie James looks at Maly’s book and talks about getting older physically but not mentally and sexual appetite.
The funny thing is about getting older is that whilst our body changes, our mind doesn’t. Mine still thinks it’s around 32, (friends would argue it’s more like 15!) 

In my head, I am still the same woman I was at 21, 31 or 41 and now, in reality, 51. As each year passes I evolve, I learn and experience more of life. I know what I want and what I don’t want, including in my sex life. 

My sexual appetite is just the same as it was in my twenties. In fact, in truth it’s actually far, far more refined. I’m not afraid to express what I like and what I don’t, and I know how to self-pleasure pretty damn well now. Learning to know and love your body really helps sexual confidence. I have learnt to accept my body exactly as it is. My age, to me, is a positive, not a negative. I simply know my body better, it also helps to have a dirty mind!

To me, sex is equally about the mind as it is the body. To be honest, most of the time I fall in love, or lust with the persons mind, the body comes after, excuse the pun.

Also, women, in my opinion, get way better with age, and not just in the bedroom. Look at Julianne Moore at 60 or Christie Brinkley at 66. 

Halle Berry, 54, says “A magical thing happened when I turned 40 – a light sort of went off, and I felt more self-assured and confident, like I finally had the right to be authentic about who I am, to say what I want to say. I guess that comes with getting older’. 

Sexual confidence comes from within. If you feel confident about your body, you will feel sexually confident. There is no such thing as the perfect body. We all have imperfections, it’s about accepting them. We are all perfectly imperfect and all beautiful in our own way. It’s all about how we feel about ourselves that matters. Age is truly just a number, as cliché as that sounds. Saying that, give me an older woman anytime!

Life is a journey full of twists and turns, some good, some bad, some unexpected. Sometimes relationships don’t work out how you expect them to. Sometimes we fall in love with people we’re not meant to, sometimes our partners do. 

These can be immensely traumatic times. One day you’re all cosied up on the sofa with your hubby, playing happy families and the next you’re scrolling through Tinder or standing in a bar with your girlfriends wondering what the hell happened. 

Admittedly, divorce or separation is a very emotional time, but age can never be an excuse not to get back on the horse again, when you’re ready. Put on that lippy and remember who the hell you are. This is not a time to be self-pitying, this is your time. This is your next chapter! You hold the pen. This is your story.

 

On this note, I wanted to tell you about an amazing book I have just read. ‘Don’t Bother To Dress Up’ by Maly Sayle is an endearing emotional rollercoaster of a book. After thirty-five years of marriage as an army wife, Sayle is dumped by her husband for a Polish masseuse half her age. If that wasn’t enough, Sayle is also left with a mountain of debts accrued by her husband. Over the next few months and pages of the book Sayle is rallied by her sister, three children and friends whilst enduring the sad decline of her parent’s health.  Prompted by her eldest daughter, whom she moves in with, who also just happens to be running a sex party company, she enters a very eventful foray into online dating resulting in some quite cringeworthy and funny exploits. 

Sayle writes from the heart, recounting her experiences and retelling them with humour, honesty and heartfelt emotion. I had to keep reminding myself this was about a 55 year old woman, her prose is so young at heart, it’s like reading the words of a twenty something.

As I read, I couldn’t help putting myself in her shoes and thinking what I would done. I would like to think I would have the strength, humour, honesty and confidence Sayle had. 

Personally, I think Maly Sayle deserves a medal, both for writing such a fabulous book and the way she conducts herself throughout this eventful chapter of her life. I’ll definitely be giving her a high-five if we ever meet. 

I only hope Sayle writes another book, because I, for one, can’t wait to hear what happened next. 

 

BY TEDDIE JAMES

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