At one of our latest Kurious Talks ‘The Thrill of Surrender’ We were lucky enough to be joined by Om Rupani and Laurie Handlers. Here Kitten D tells us of the thrilling experience.

The thrill of giving up control.
The thrill of speaking your real desires.
The thrill of surrendering to pain.
The thrill of letting others witness you in your get-off.
The thrill of giving power over to another human being.

This was the delectable teaser of a Kurious talk hosted by New York laureates of tantric kink, Laurie Handlers, and Om Rupani.

We all know the brain is the biggest sex organ but it’s quite a spectacle to behold a room becoming hot under the collar with the exchange of only words. No fondling and fully clothed!

Kurious indeed, plus sexy as hell.

Nothing like the topic of your secret desires to let KK strangers bond and open up about their deepest, darkest, dirtiest peccadillos. With Om placing the ‘hot seat’ microphone and spotlight (figuratively speaking) on one person at a time, everyone in the room was asked to drink in that person’s words and this person’s moment in the hot seat. Needless to say, it was not a comfortable experience, to begin with, squirming in one’s seat in fear of being picked on next; yet strangely liberating and eye-poppingly educational at the same time. Woohoo! I was not alone in my peccadillos. Through this kink-probing experience, I suddenly sensed that I have found my tribe of like-minded people.

At a Kurious TALK of all places.

Suddenly the ice was broken in the room and strangers became a room of kinksters with a connection of shared thoughts. Om and Laurie guided us through tantric release exercises before we explored the dom/sub dynamics. These exercises were new for some (the outright Kurious attendees); familiar to others (the been there, done that Kurious attendees); and utterly alien to those that suddenly found their sexual roles flipped (the hardcore KK kinksters maybe hunting for new playmates at Kurious).

The world tipped.

The normally assured and assertive dom was asked to play the timid sub, obeying instead of commanding. The toe-curling, ecstasy-chasing sub was asked to put on a strict hard gaze in the dom role while tightening ropes around wrists and peppering subs with bashful-worthy intrusive questions. A circle of subs and doms changed partners, repeating the process of role play with strangers, some particularly out of their comfort zone.

Those playing the sub suddenly realised the power and privilege they normally held in the position of dom. Those playing the dom, recognised the reversed servitude of their playmate during these exercises; those who otherwise yielded the power to drive them too prescriptive ecstasy.

Never did it dawn on me that the dom was there to give and withhold pleasure, in essence solely focused on the sub and not their own desires. It begs the intriguing question. In this sub/dom dynamic, who’s actually the boss? The one tightening the bindings or the one enjoying the sensation?

Om and Laurie took us through a set of games and exercises that did make us shiver and tingle, feelings that only come in the vicinity of surrender. Some realised they could easily pendulum between sub and dom, experiencing sexual frisson as either. Others felt only comfortable in their own skin, their pre-existing sub or dom roles. A Kurious night indeed, one that still haunts my thoughts and has laced numerous follow-on discussions with new acquaintances at KK events and on KK forums.

Kurious talks may be deemed ‘vanilla’ compared to KK parties but it makes for a much sexier mind space. I invite you to attend one and lubricate that big sex organ. You will be sure to cover saucy subjects and shake up conversations the next time you’re stuck for a topic at a KK party. Eyes down slave!