The thrill of giving up control.
The thrill of speaking your real desires.
The thrill of surrendering to pain.
The thrill of letting others witness you in your get-off.
The thrill of giving power over to another human being.
This was the delectable teaser of a Kurious talk hosted by New York laureates of tantric kink, Laurie Handlers and Om Rupani.
We all know the brain is the biggest sex organ but it’s quite a spectacle to behold a room becoming hot under the collar with the exchange of only words. No fondling and fully clothed!
Kurious indeed, plus sexy as hell
Nothing like the topic of your secret desires to let KK strangers bond and open up about their deepest, darkest, dirtiest peccadillos. With Om placing the ‘hot seat’ microphone and spotlight (figuratively speaking) on one person at a time, everyone in the room was asked to drink in that person’s words. Needless to say, it was not a comfortable experience, to begin with, squirming in one’s seat in fear of being picked on next; yet strangely liberating and eye-poppingly educational at the same time. Woohoo! I was not alone in my interests. Through this kink-probing experience, I suddenly sensed that I have found my community of like-minded people.
At a Kurious TALK of all places
Suddenly the ice was broken in the room and strangers became a room of kinksters with a connection of shared thoughts. Om and Laurie guided us through tantric release exercises before we explored dom/sub dynamics. These exercises were relatively new for some, familiar to others, and utterly alien to those that suddenly found their usual sexual roles flipped.
The normally assured and assertive dom was asked to play the timid sub, obeying instead of commanding. The ecstasy-chasing sub was asked to put on a strict gaze in the dom role while tightening ropes around wrists and peppering subs with authoritative questions. A circle of subs and doms changed partners, repeating the process of role play with strangers, some particularly out of their comfort zone.
Those playing the sub suddenly realised the power and privilege they normally held in the position of dom. Those playing the dom recognised the reversed servitude of their playmate during these exercises; those who otherwise yielded the power to drive them to prescriptive ecstasy.
Never did it dawn on me that the dom was there to give and withhold pleasure, in essence solely focused on the sub and not their own desires. It begs the intriguing question. In this sub/dom dynamic, who’s actually the boss? The one tightening the bindings or the one enjoying the sensation?
Om and Laurie took us through a set of games and exercises that made us shiver and tingle, feelings that can come when in the vicinity of surrender. Some realised they could easily switch between sub and dom, experiencing sexual frisson as either. Others felt only comfortable in their pre-existing sub or dom roles. A Kurious night indeed, one that still haunts my thoughts and has lead to numerous follow-on discussions with new acquaintances.
Kurious talks may be deemed ‘vanilla’ compared to KK parties but it makes for a much sexier mind space. I invite you to attend one and lubricate that big sex organ, your brain. You will be sure to cover saucy subjects and shake up conversations the next time you’re stuck for a topic at a KK party.
With workshops on everything from masturbation to body confidence, make sure you check out our events pages for details of what’s coming up soon…
Written by the Killing Kittens team.