How To Deep Throat

You’ve learned to give the ultimate blow job from one of our previous blog posts, so now it’s time for us to give you the ultimate guide to deep throating!

Language Note: This article and the terms used within are intentionally gender non-specific, as we intend for this piece to be broad in gender application. The words “penis”, “balls”, and a few other anatomical terms are used with absolutely no gender specificity assigned to any term. We would like to acknowledge that not everyone with these general demonstrations of physiology uses the same words to describe their parts and that not all bodies appear the same or function in the same way. It is our intention to be mindful and inclusive of trans, enby, GNC, gender expansive, 2 Spirit, and intersex experiences as we want the information contained within to benefit as many expansive identities as possible. 

We hope that you enjoy reading this article and that it helps you to find new ways to experience and or give pleasure! We welcome feedback at editor@wearekk.com

Can Everyone Deep Throat? 

Firstly, while some people love to work deep-throating into their sexual experiences, it is not for everyone. You should never feel pressured, by yourself or by anyone else, to incorporate deep throating or any other sexual act into your play just because it has risen to fame through porn in recent years.

Deep throating should not be your first forray into oral sex, either: we recommend that you discover your comfort-levels with giving blow jobs and taking a penis or dildo into your mouth before embarking on learning how to deep throat. This also goes for when you are actively using your deep throating skills: we recommend working your way into it, usually by beginning with a blow job and other touch, to maximise the pleasure and enjoyment for both giver and receiver. 

As with any new skill, deep throating takes time to learn, and can be harmful if not done safely and correctly. Each person will naturally have their own comfort levels when it comes to deep throating, and it is important to listen to your body as you practise and learn. 

Be sure not to override what your body is telling you; if you find yourself in pain or discomfort during deep throating, stop. Take a break and make sure you are okay before trying again, moving on to a different kind of touch or stopping altogether.

What Is Deep Throating? How Is It Different From A Blow Job? 

Deep throating is the art of relaxing the throat muscles and taking a penis or dildo into the throat without causing harm to oneself or one’s partner. 

As mentioned above, deep throating is different from a blow job or oral sex. During a blow job, the giver focuses on licking, sucking, tickling and playing with a penis and balls or dildo. In deep throating, the penis or dildo goes beyond the mouth and into the throat. 

Deep throating, despite how it is sometimes depicted, is a process of in and out pumps, some longer than others. It does not have to be a sustained action of holding the penis in the throat. Again, this latter would be a more advanced technique and would require some training in breath play, as holding the penis or dildo deep in the throat will prevent breathing.  

What Is A “Throat Orgasm”?

Some people have found they can experience a “throat orgasm”. This may have something to do with stimulation of the vagus nerve inside of the throat, though few studies have been done on this. Every individual will be able to stimulate their vagus nerve in different ways that do not require deep throating (some ways are listed below). 

For some, the vagus nerve might be reached while deep throating near the uvula, or the entry point of the throat, while for others the front or back part of their throat might be what helps them stimulate the vagus nerve. “Throat-gasms” are not widely known, and may not be possible for all individuals. However, some people describe them to be very fulfilling. 

The vagus nerve can also be stimulated by: singing; chanting; loud gurgling; foot massage; and cold water on the face. It is known to do wonders for stress relief, anxiety and depression. 

That being said, over stimulation of the vagus nerve lowers the heart rate. Rapid drops in heart rate can cause a person to faint. If you are deep throating it is important that you keep this in mind, and pay attention to yourself and your partner/s as they are deep throating to prevent over stimulation.

A Quick Note On Saliva

When you start deep throating, you are going to quickly notice that you are producing large quantities of saliva. For almost all people, this is unavoidable and is definitely NOT something you should worry about. It’s natural, and on the plus side, it can act as a natural lubricant. So if you want to give your partner extra sloppy head, then deep throating them is a perfect way to kill two birds with one stone.

Is Deep Throating Safe? Is Deep Throating Dangerous?

If done correctly, deep throating can be a safe experience. Like any sexual act, deep throating can transfer STIs, and can also bring on throat bruising, throat rawness, and can cause unwanted vomiting, gagging, and choking. Restricted air flow and ruptured airways, or tracheobronchial injury are also ways a person can become injured during deep throating, so it is important that you start out slowly and lightly as you practise and play. 

We highly recommend that you and your partner/s adopt non-verbal safewords or cues to stop or pause play, as verbal cues can be very difficult, or not possible, to give. 

All of that said, deep throating can be super enjoyable for both the giver and the receiver, so read on for the ultimate deep throat training guide! 

Deep Throat Training

What to avoid when deep throating:

Choking

If you feel like you are choking, be sure to use your non-verbal safeword to stop play. Once you have had a breather, you can feel free to begin again if you so choose, but it is important that you are not restricting your airways. Deep throating should be a process of in and out movements, allowing the giver to access breath and air in between “pumps”. 

If you or your partner/s enjoy your choking, you can always lean into this as a role-playing style and pretend. Breath play of any sort is not something to be taken on lightly, without any kind of training. It is important that you do not actually endanger yourself or others in the process of exploring, so if you want to explore choking seek professional guidance and training, such as this video series created by Lola Jean and LT.

Vomiting or Gagging

For many these may be a turn on and part of the goal, in which case you can either choose to play up any gagging or near vomiting, or lean into them and let them actually happen. However if you are not going for these experiences in your play, slow it down and give yourself a small break in between “pumps”. 

Raw Throat – Don’t Use Numbing Lube

If your throat begins to feel raw or overworked it is important that you pause and give your throat a break. It may feel best to move on to a blow job, a hand job or something else and pick back up with deep throating another time. Avoid using any kind of numbing lube, as you will not be able to listen to your body, and when it wears off you might have a very sore situation (if not actively injured) on your hands. 

Can you train to deep throat and avoid the gag reflex?

Like any new skill, there are ways of practising deep throating. If you feel most comfortable doing so, you can begin by practising with putting your fingers or a dildo into your mouth, guiding it gently and slowly down your throat. 

Try and pay attention to when your gag reflex kicks in, and respect that it is there to keep you safe. Shifting your relationship to your gag reflex won’t happen overnight. Your gag reflex is usually triggered when something touches the back of your throat, the roof of your mouth, your tonsils or even the back of your tongue causing a spasm-like sensation or reflex contraction (gagging).

Desensitising the Gag Reflex

Building a new relationship with your gag reflex has to do with slowly desensitising it. Desensitising it means that you’ll be “training” the back of your throat and tonsils to stop making you gag anytime something touches there. Training your gag reflex takes time and effort but can be done.

If you are going to slowly try and desensitise your gag reflex, it is crucial that you are using something clean, and something that will not get stuck, or damage your throat. We highly recommend your own fingers or a dildo. You do not want to be using fruit or anything on which you could accidentally lose your grip. Whether you are learning with a partner/s, friends, or if you are undertaking this training solo, keep other people in the loop as you practise. If you feel light headed or unwell, or in case anything were to go wrong, you will have someone in the know to help you out.

How To Practice Deep Throating 

Step One: Finding The Gag Reflex

Inhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. Say “Ahhh” and slowly insert the clean object of choice  into your mouth and guide it towards the back of your throat. 

As it reaches the back of your throat it will trigger your gag reflex. Try to suppress this gag reflex and hold it there, or back off just a touch so that you can breathe without gagging. Breathe through your nose, and try to relax your throat. Some people find that imagining the sensation of a yawn can help to open their throat and relax their gag reflex.

Hold your object steady at the back of your throat for up to 10 seconds. This is you creating a practice “plunge” while still trying to control movement. Don’t try to move it in or out. Insert, hold, and then remove the object completely. Recover. 

If you do this a few times a week you might find it gets easier, as your gag reflex may become less sensitive. Practice off and on for a few weeks. Once you feel it has become easier, then you are ready for the next step. If you feel you aren’t making progress, it may be a sign that deep throating is not something your body is comfortable with, and that is ok, too. Every person will have their own unique response to deep throating, and it is not a failure to be safe and listen to your body. Pushing past where your body is comfortable could lead to dangerous outcomes. Your body reacts to protect you, so always be listening to where your body is comfortable.

Step Two: Moving In and Out

The next stage is to begin trying to move your chosen object in and out of your mouth while brushing off your gag reflex. The first few times will be hard and you may feel like you want to vomit, but stay calm, breathe and relax. If you feel like you are going to vomit, we would recommend pausing what you’re doing and taking some deep breaths to recover. Don’t try to push through, especially if you are not feeling comfortable. 

If you do vomit, that is ok, too, and is nothing to be ashamed about. You may want to practise this stage in the bathtub or shower for ease. Remember, this is a normal bodily reaction that you are attempting to retrain, and even with practice it is difficult to reprogram your natural bodily instincts. 

After a few weeks of this, you may have eventually worn down the sensitivity of your gag reflex to the point where you are quite comfortable taking your object deep into and out of your throat without convulsing, gagging or coughing excessively.

If you find this to be the case, you may then feel ready to move on to a penis or dildo that is attached to a person. 

Step Three: Deep Throating A Penis or Strap On

It is important that your partner is patient and understanding. No one needs any extra pressure when practising deep throating or any new skill! 

Your partner should remain really still until you have mastered your relationship to deep throating so that you can control the speed and the depth of the in and out motions. Note where you are still experiencing your gag reflex, and place your fingers around the penis or dildo at that point so you only have to go up to that point. Feel free to use your other hand to play with that further part of the shaft. As always, communication is key for this to be as pleasurable as it can be. 

Best Positions For Deep Throating 

Try to be in a position which puts less pressure on the back of your throat. A great first position is on your knees facing the penis in the standard blow job position, as it allows for the giver to have the most control. You can also try lying back with your head tilted over the edge of a bed for when you feel more comfortable with deep throating, as this helps to open up the throat. 

Of course, this isn’t a one-position-suits-all type of situation. Penises come in all shapes and sizes and the fun is in experimenting and finding the right position that works best for you.

Remember To Breathe 

When you have a penis or dildo in your throat, it becomes tougher to breathe. The bigger the object in your throat, the harder it will be.

Try breathing through your nose, breathing when your partner pulls out of your throat. If you find this impossible, then be sure to take breaks. Deep throat for one plunge, and take a break for ten seconds. You can make the break sexy, but be sure to take that much needed time to breathe.  

Advanced Deep Throat Techniques 

  • Licking their balls

If you are on your knees, and your partner is standing while you deep throat them, you are in the perfect position to extend your tongue outwards and start licking their testicles. Give them a heads up before doing it, so they don’t thrust deeper or pull out when you do.The key is keeping the penis deep in your throat as you do this, where your partner is neither moving in or out. 

  • Humming

Another simple but powerful technique you can try is humming while keeping the penis deep in your throat (so no thrusting in and out). 

  • Your hands

When deep throating your partner, your hands will be free. You can put them on their legs and stomach to control the speed you take them into your throat, or you can reach around and grab their bottom and pull them deeper into you. Try lightly scratching them, massaging their bottom and/or testicles, or caressing the perineum You can also just use your hands to steady yourself and make yourself comfortable, or touch yourself in a way that feels good!

Want to learn more about deep throating?

Make sure you check out our upcoming workshops and masterclasses!

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