How To Use A Gag During Sex

Serena Red talks us through her top ten tools for getting a bit of peace and quiet, starting with taking a look at ball gags. They’re a classic for a reason. 

What exactly is a gag?

A gag is an object put into the mouth to keep it open or to prevent speech. They come in a lot of different shapes and sizes depending on the desired outcome or aesthetic. Generally speaking, a piece of plastic, silicone or metal is attached to a strap, which fits around the face and can be secured at the back of the head. The gag sits just behind or between the wearer’s teeth making it nearly impossible for them to talk, but also encouraging them to drool. 

Using a gag shouldn’t be taken lightly. Discussions should be held beforehand about how the wearer will communicate any distress to their partner. This can either be done by using a hand signal (if your partner is tied up elsewhere, they can hold a bell or coins to drop on the floor). Remember as always, consent and communication are key for any kind of kink, Kittens and Toms! 

What sorts of gags are there?

The world of gags is your oyster with many types available. Of course, we have a few favourites. Rated by how much drool they produce check out my list of gags rated 1 – 10 on the drool-ometer.

1. Bit gag 

This type of gag is commonly used in a BDSM type of play called Pony Play. It resembles the bit used on horses and is often used in conjunction with reins allowing the Dominant control over where the submissive moves or where they are looking.

I love this gag as it is often flexible and allows the wearer some control over what they are doing with their mouths. While they can’t talk if it is fastened well, it is more comfortable and allows the wearer something to bite down if they wish during any form of impact play.

2. O-ring gag

O-ring gags are often the first type of gag people are exposed to. These are made of either a metal or silicone ring that fits behind the wearer’s teeth and opens their mouth into an “O”. This allows the Dominant to insert certain appendages or objects into the wearer’s mouth.

You can also get a similar gag, that looks like an o-ring but with lips attached. These are often used for sissification or bimbofication play (where the submissive wishes to be treated as inferior or objectified). 

3. Ball gag 

Ball gags are great as a starting gag. If you’re worried about constricting breathing, get a plastic ball gag with holes drilled in it or opt for a smaller size. 

4. Whitehead gag 

These gags are often associated with medical play. Often a fetish in themselves, these types of gags are used by dentists and allow for modification of the size of the wearer’s mouth. 

5. Penis gag 

It is what it says on the tin. A phallic-shaped gag that is inserted into the wearer’s mouth and fastened in place. These can either be fixed in size and shape, or they may be inflatable…allowing the Dominant to inflate the gag thus increasing the discomfort AND the drool.

6. Pacifier 

Sometimes used in age play, these are a useful tool for making someone quiet but in a gentler, softer way. They are often used as a reward, rather than as a tool of punishment and can form part of aftercare.

  1. Tape 

Damsel in distress vibes? Yes please! You’re going to want special bondage tape as opposed to whatever is sitting in your desk drawer as this is softer and more forgiving to the skin! 

8. Hand gag

Out and about? In a pinch with no toys? Don’t worry! Just use your hand to cover your partner’s mouth. If you and your partner have established breath play as part of your repertoire and know what you’re doing with this, you can use your finger and thumb to close their nose whilst you cover their mouth. But remember, stay safe. Breath play is not something to introduce on the fly or to underestimate – you should always have a discussion before introducing any kind of breath play, with an agreed safe gesture or sound that will end the play if needed. Dominants, be mindful of your fingers if you have a submissive who enjoys an occasional chew.

9. Spider gag

Don’t panic, this doesn’t involve actual spiders. This gag is similar to the o-ring gag however it has fixed hooks on the side of the gag to prevent the wearer from flipping the o-ring to be horizontal in their mouths. Recommended if your submissive is of the bratty persuasion (or just doesn’t like doing as they are told).  

10. Rope ball gag

This is a fun gag that can be used alone or involve different ties! A piece of rope is fashioned into a gag and placed inside the wearer’s mouth. Super fun when used alongside rope bondage.

How to introduce gags into your play

You may be wondering how to introduce gags into your sex life if you and your partner(s) have not ventured into this kink before. With the right communication, consent, and aftercare, using a gag can be a fun addition to any type of play.

Communication is key.

Speak to the wearer and find out what they like, and what they don’t like. Make an effort to understand their boundaries, preferences, and what’s completely off the table. It’s very important to be aware of any phobias and hard limits around this kind of play involving mouths, teeth, or dentist fears. 

Try lots of different types.

So they can’t fit an o-ring gag in their mouth, that’s okay! There are multiple sizes, styles, and types of gags. Visit your local sex shop and physically touch and feel the weight of each gag and keep trying until you find what suits you best.  Check out the list above for examples and don’t be afraid to chat to experts who know about this stuff! You will find something that works for you and your partner, even if that is just using your own hands!

Sick? Call it quits.

If the submissive has a runny nose or is sniffly, don’t bother with the gag. As gags can impact breathing, the person may not be able to breathe sufficiently through their nose alone. This could cause a lot of discomfort and stress very quickly. Try it when you’re both feeling on top of your game!

Enough with the chit chat

Once the gag is in place, ask your submissive a series of questions. This can be as innocuous or as sexy as you like! Ask them to state their name or age, say the alphabet backwards, or have them tell you they’re a “fucking kinky slut”. This helps establish whether the gag is working and fitted correctly. It also helps set out the D/s power exchange which always adds to the fun!

So Kittens and Toms, you’ve read my ultimate guide to gags… which implement will you be reaching for next time you want your partner to give you some peace and quiet so you can read all the fun blogs on Killing Kittens?

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