KK Chats: Kitten X

Today, we follow the journey of Kitten X (she/her, 41). She tells us of her journey to KK and how she has embraced her newfound confidence.

At Killing Kittens, everyone apart from cis-gender men is welcome to identify as a Kitten. This includes cis-gender women, trans people of all genders, non-binary people, gender non-conforming people, gender expansive and gender fluid people, as just a few examples! The identity of Kitten (or Guest, for cis-gender men) does not need to be a part of our members’ identities beyond how they function for the purposes of our events. However, we know many Kittens for whom their Kitten identity has become an integral part of who they are, which we love.

Killing Kittens is and always has been an indulgent world where you can revel in sensual pleasures, lose your inhibitions and experience the most erotic fantasies in an exclusive, safe, and non-judgemental environment. Kitten X entered the world a little nervously at first, as most people do at the start! Here’s what she has to say and how her story evolved.

A story About Kitten X

I discovered Killing Kittens and – not to spoil the ending but – it has changed my entire life.

I had been in a relationship with a man who wanted to fulfill every fantasy we desired. After many years of battling with my health which led to losing my confidence physically and sexually, this new partnership was a godsend. I could finally open up more and be free to expose myself to a man that I felt worshipped me, in all senses of the word.

I am of African descent and have lived in a few countries in my life. I have a business, but after becoming a single mom (though I was then dating), I could only work part-time, and I received help for my low income. 

Healthwise, I suffered from a chronic illness that left my body going in and out of extreme body shapes. I also suffered a minor stroke, so my cognition and vocabulary took a hit. My body issues were related to my yo-yo shapeshifting and wearing weaves/ wigs/ braids because my hair was too thin and frail to have out naturally.

Voyeurism Fantasies

We were together for just over a year, and at one point, I told him one of my secrets about wanting so much to explore voyeurism.

My fantasy was for him to watch me as I became intimate with a woman. I still had trust issues with him, so I confessed that I wouldn’t feel comfortable with him partaking in the acts, but the thought of him watching a woman go down on me would turn me on so much.

The idea drove him wild. His profession made him a “do-er,” and for days after I made this confession, he pursued me to make it happen. I did lots of research online on how to achieve this. I had looked at escorts, dating apps, even some swingers clubs. But none seemed to fit. I was scared of health risks, like dealing with strangers and picking up some STD.

Though the fantasy was at the foremost of my thinking, I still felt held back on how I was going to bring this to life. I guess, in honesty, I also felt a bit worried he would lose interest in me if I didn’t follow through.

Finding Killing Kittens

I searched for ages. Finally, after sifting through a lot – and I mean a lot – of dead ends, I found Killing Kittens.

I sent him the link. He replied instantly, stating he was excited. I read about how the high-class club focused on female empowerment, which was intriguing. I’d never seen sex and female power be placed together in terms of a business model, and naturally, I wanted to find out more.

The sign-up form asked about my profession and to send a recent picture to be vetted. I was pleased but scared at the same time. What type of person are they looking for? Will I be good enough to join? Though I was nervous about the sign-up process, I felt at ease that, at least, it’s all processed in real-time, everyone is checked and they are aware of who joins. 

This was a big plus for me, considering I was uneasy about the potential risks of other options.  I felt safer knowing that someone had to be accepted. This is a way to deter wrongdoers or unknown people. I didn’t realize then how beneficial this one small act would be.

Interested in joining Killing Kittens? Our membership form is here for the exact reason Kitten X tells you – it’s for safety, not vanity. We have no ‘success criteria.’ We just need to know that you’re wh,o you say you are to keep our members and yourself safe. 

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A Story About Suspense

Meeting that man at the time I did was surreal and I felt on top of the world. It was proper honeymoon period stuff. 

So after signing up, I felt like squealing. YES! I could give back to him as he did for me. 

We were due to go to our first party together a few months after being granted the membership. We kinda skipped over the whole ‘meeting someone privately’ and went straight into it. 

After reading about the way a Killing Kittens party worked, I thought it was like having my cake and eating it too. I could also watch others, which was one of our fantasies

I can’t explain how I felt. I was so scared, apprehensive, nervous – but there was also a flame dancing around my stomach, which urged me to keep going.

Set-Backs

 

Great partner, great intimacy, and – what was about to be – mindblowing sex. Things were looking up. Skyscraper up, actually. 

But there’s always a risk of falling when you’re up high.  

Just a week or so before the party of our dreams, I found out he had been unfaithful, not once or twice, but throughout our 18 months together. I was devastated. 

How could this be? It affected my mental state tremendously. I lost my confidence completely. 

I never wanted to have sex again. I didn’t feel sexual at all. I wanted nothing to do with sex. I felt humiliated, used – you name it, I felt it. It affected my work as it pertains to sensual desires for other people. I was gutted. I immediately cancelled my membership and, of course forfeit going to the party. There was no point.

A few months down the line, my path happened to cross with Killing Kittens again. I had a chance to speak with someone who worked for them. 

They heard my story; her words were like a little spark to relight the flame that had been extinguished. Mainly I was told the world of KK is to help empower women – return their lost confidence. 

The opportunity came to attend a party. I’d be on my own. I had never been more scared in my life. Mentally I was so conflicted – absolutely torn. 

I wanted to share the experience with the man, but the old me – the one fighting to be heard – wanted to try and explore this alone. That voice got louder, and how was I meant to ignore her? I owed it to her. So, I made a lot of excuses but then, eventually, I leapt.

First Party

I was approached by a woman at the party pretty darn quickly, and I could feel a spark. 

I think she could see the mental battle I was having written over my face. She was there with her husband. We talked about how they were a couple who played together and sometimes apart. 

I won’t lie – I was so attracted to her.

I made it clear to her that I couldn’t do anything with her husband. 

I just wasn’t ready for dealing with men. And she seemed to have zero issues with it.

She touched me softly and reassured me that it’d be okay. She’d stop if I said ‘stop.’  The seconds felt like minutes – perhaps even hours – and then she asked me what I wanted to do.

I was so high on euphoria that I just took her hand, and we went up to a room and started to kiss. I hadn’t even noticed the other people in the room. 

That night I was on my period, so I felt a bit limited in how I could interact with her. But she was not pushy at all. Her husband came through, and I remember kindly saying I couldn’t play with him, and he stood back like a proper gentleman.

Jeez, could this be happening? It was nothing like I thought, and it was so sensual, not sleazy. I felt so relaxed despite every emotion that had been running through my mind up until that point in time.

Becoming Part Of The KK Community

The next few days, I played it all back. 

I felt the push to discover more, but again, my mental state was holding me back

Simultaneously, I discovered I was having a relapse from my medical conditions. I wanted to be part of this world, but how would I do this without having control of my body?

I then discovered that Killing Kittens had chat groups for their members. 

Again, a vetting process. And again, gratitude for KK’s dedication to safety. The security of it all was outstanding. To take the time out to make sure every member was utterly protected made me respect Killing Kittens even more. 

I was put in a group for the women only. The level of trust amongst us is fantastic. Since joining this group, those in it have become a little “family.” 

There are all sorts of women inside this group from all over the world, in all stages of their lives, with or without kids. I’m in between jobs at the moment, and I feel the support from all the members in keeping me strong. 

The power of a group of women is outstanding. Killing Kittens really is a place to explore your sexual energy and feel empowered beyond the bedroom. 

Of course, there’s a lot of flirting going on too. Everyone’s tastes are different, even when it comes to men. 

I am now a part of a few different groups within Killing Kittens, and there is someone for everyone. There are rules to abide by, but that level of security just adds to the “luxury” of being part of this exclusive “club.” It’s all about respect, and you feel it with every twist and turn of the Killing Kittens rollercoaster.

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Loving My Own Uniqueness

Half the time, I need to get my daughter to help apply my makeup, and I probably wear heels more in the bedroom than I do in public.

I am not a barbie doll with perky, massive boobs and a tight ass, or a Kardashian.

Some girls fit that description, though, and they’re uniquely beautiful, too. 

The amazing thing is that we are all on an equal playing field in KK. I am part of this world as a short, brown-skinned, bisexual woman who would like to go to the gym if possible. Even so, I have had so much interest from people of all genders at KK; it’s incredible.

I have forgotten about what’s-his-name now (or have I?). BUT, my god – if he could see me now! 

My reasons for joining and why I am now part of Killing Kittens have changed in the last year. What is still the same is that I have complete control over my sexuality.

I can choose to have or not have sex. I am amongst a society of non-judgemental, “sexually” elite people – meaning people who see sex and the body as an art and respect them.

At KK, you do not have to have sex if you do not want to. Just the atmosphere alone is enough for people to step into a world of extreme pleasures. This is at parties or events, or even just meeting up privately with a member you enjoy as a companion or want to get to know. I have even made a few just lifelong friends within KK.

The Killing Kittens philosophy has given me strength in regaining my confidence. I won’t lie and say they waved a magic wand, and I was instantly ‘fixed.’ It’s still a work in progress and a learning curve, but unlike before when I felt that a lack of self-confidence crippled me, the journey is now enjoyable. 

The Killing Kittens team is working with everyone to ensure that we are happy, safe and our needs are met. I’m yet to find something like it elsewhere, though I’m admittedly not looking. 

Kitten X’s story is one of the thousands of women who joined KK at a low point in her life. We’re all about celebrating every single one of those stories because, without the low, you’d never experience the high here with us. 

Considering joining KK? Check out our website here.

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