When we wanted to write a guide to squirting there was only one woman for the job, Lola Jean.
Some of you may already know Lola Jean from our squirting workshop back in March but for those who don’t, you’re in for a treat! Enjoy.
Lola Jean – World Record Squirt Holder
I have a complicated relationship with squirting—and I am the face of squirting. The face of squirting on faces. Something that brings me such joy is also a point of frustration. Frustration for my acknowledgement. It is for that reason I set the world record for squirting in the first place. Yes, you heard right: World Record Squirting (Solo.) That means there was no one else on that stage but me. Just me and my hand—and I never penetrated myself once. I can disprove science with a flick of my wrist. It only took me 25 seconds to eject 1250 mL from my body. Science said that 800mL was the max someone could squirt, so now you can’t talk about squirting without talking about me.
Naturally, after you hear this, you’re curious. You want to know how you can do it. You want to know how you can make someone else do it. Somehow, squirting became almost entirely about male pleasure. How is something that comes out of a woman’s body—due to a reaction from her body—have anything to do with men? Well, because you may view sex as a horse race. A video game. Advancing to next levels and setting high scores. While sexual achievements and first times are fun to celebrate, let the first thing you take away from this be: you should not pressure anyone to squirt, including yourself. If that’s something you want to do, ask yourself if it’s more for you—or your partner. Ask yourself—ask them—why do you want to experience squirting?
Vulvas are complicated in the most delicious way. There isn’t one way that will get you to squirt, just like there isn’t one way to orgasm. There may be one way that works for a lot of people, but if anyone tells you they’ve made every person they’ve been with squirt—I’m more inclined to think they’re less reading your body and more playing to their own ego.
As a culture we’re OBSESSED with squirting. Probably because science cannot yet explain it and it’s a visual manifestation of pleasure from someone with a vulva. It’s not that simple folx. While there is involuntary squirting (that knee jerk reaction) there is also voluntary squirting where the squirter has an active role in the act. Often times, the squirter is going to have some level of involvement in assisting their body to do so, even if you’re “making them squirt.” Shocking, right?
What does squirting feel like?
So what is this goal we all seem to strive for? What does it feel like? I mean…it feels good. It feels great. When I squirt on it’s own (without an orgasm) it feels like a release, like an itch that has been scratched or the descent from the top of a rollercoaster. When I orgasm AND squirt together, it makes that orgasm extra special. That being said, after squirting with consistency for a few years, the pleasure isn’t this mind bending experience I think most hype it up to be. I’d rank a cervical orgasm much higher in terms of pleasure. Though, when that happens I’m usually squirting too. Once you turn on the faucet, it is difficult to turn it off.
Point being: we shouldn’t tick off boxes. We should enjoy the experience and allow ourselves to be surprised. When we pressure our partner or treat them as a litmus test, we’re less likely to be in tune with where they find comfort and pleasure—and that’s why you’re interested in squirting, right?
What Causes Squirting?
Squirting is when fluid is released, propelled by muscles in a woman’s vaginal area, to create a ‘projection’ effect. The amount of fluid produced can vary in terms of volume, and how much it ‘shoots’ out can vary according to the strength of muscle contractions, but effectively, if there’s an expression of fluid in this manner during genital stimulation, it’s squirting.
Note that the fluid is not pee and is also different from the usual vaginal fluids produced for lubrication during sex. If that sounds vague, it’s because it is – scientists really don’t know much about why this fluid is produced or what, in biological terms, it is for!
Note that we said ‘genital stimulation’ there, not orgasm. A squirting orgasm is something you often see in porn, and it’s certainly likely that a woman who squirts will squirt when she climaxes but squirting at other points during sexual stimulation is also possible. So, is squirting an orgasm?
Not in and of itself. An orgasm may be accompanied by squirting, or it may not, and squirting may happen at other times during clitoral, vaginal, and anal stimulation before a climax.
How to Squirt
So let’s say your virtues are just and your desire to squirt or assist in your partners is not entirely for ones ego. How do you do it? More importantly, can everyone do it or are you broken? Again, I’m a professional athlete when it comes to squirting and even I didn’t discover it until my mid to late twenties. It’s going to happen when it’s going to happen. If you want to hack squirting and understand the bodily mechanics, that’s going to be more on the end of the vulva-owner.
The key to squirting isn’t “just relaxing” and if anyone tells a woman to “relax” then they may have a another thing coming to them. There is a series of squeezing (doing kegels) as well as pushing (flowering out the vaginal canal) that is a part of the squirting process. Sometimes it is natural, sometimes you have to decidedly assist in the act. That squeezing and pushing not only aides in the process but can increase the pleasure and sensation.
Can all women squirt?
It is my belief that everyone with a vulva is capable of squirting if they have a strong enough pelvic floor and relationship with their vagina. There has to be a certain level of arousal, comfort, and hydration. The amount of liquid consumed does not directly equate to the amount of squirt one can produce, but if you’re dehydrated, that is not going to work in your favor. If you need extra motivation to drink more water, you’re welcome.
What is it when a woman squirts/is squirt pee?
It does not feel like you’re urinating or have to pee. While we’re on the subject of pee: if you want to argue with me that it’s pee then this article isn’t for you. If you want to shame someone who squirts then don’t👏fuck👏that👏person👏. I have both peed and squirted on people on multiple occasions and I can tell you they are different acts and liquids. The people I have peed and squirted on (consensually) can tell you they are different acts and liquids. Again, you don’t deserve to fuck someone you are going to shame.
How to make yourself squirt
It is helpful to have an experience of squirting by the hands of another (person or robot) before you aim to replicate this on your own. This way, you have a frame of reference. You understand the feeling you are trying to replicate. For that – I recommend using a clit suction toy like the Womanizer or Satisfyer. That way, you and your partner can see that squirting can happen independent of manual G-spot stimulation—contrary to popular belief. Using a toy doesn’t have to be a solo act. I like it when my partner holds down my legs or prevents me from squirming while I use one of these toys. It’s a very, very intense stimulation and the encouragement from a partner can be helpful in this process. Understand that it actually may be more difficult to squirt if there is something inside of the vaginal canal. This prevents the canal from fully engaging and closing to expel the squirt out. G-spot stimulation can apply via a hand or object for manual touch or via the muscles groups within the vagina. That area—being very sensitive—may be too sensitive for manual touch. A main reason anal stimulation can be pleasurable for someone with a vulva is because you’re accessing areas of the vagina through the anal tissue and not via direct touch.
For some, squirting is a fetish or a kink. For me—it is my life. It is something my body does that my partner will have to accept but not obsess. I’ve been with others who fetishize my squirt and make me feel like I have to be a constant performance. Don’t get me wrong—I love having a stage and putting on a show—I’m an exhibitionist, after all. But I don’t want to feel like I need to give a performance worthy production every day. So many strive to squirt or make someone squirt. Before you decide to be jealous of my body’s accomplishments ask yourself if you really want this. Do you want to explain to your partners what your body does and be prepared for obsession or shame, for disgust or rejection. Some lovers are more concerned with getting me to squirt than giving me orgasms. Some ask me not to squirt or treat me as a novelty. Don’t get me wrong—I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Squirting has given and taught me so much about my sexuality and my body, but I didn’t need it in order to learn those things. Squirting was a vessel that propelled me to become who I am today. That doesn’t mean I don’t have the same struggles with sex and love that other’s do. You may strive to squirt where I strive to love. You may wish to gush easier in the way that I wish to orgasm easier. We’re always chasing something, so cut yourself some slack and enjoy the journey and the ride—whether there’s a splash zone or not.
Why can’t I squirt?
‘If all women can squirt- why can’t I?’ It’s a common question. Many women are keen to experience a squirting orgasm but claim that they just can’t do it. Well, we know that that’s not the case. And although a squirting orgasm isn’t the only way to experience pleasure, if you’re interested in getting wet and wild with a squirting orgasm there are some steps you can take.
Get out of your head / how to let go and squirt
Not much is known about the female orgasm, but what we do know is that an orgasm is a mental and physical thing. For women, it’s important to feel comfortable and relaxed in order to orgasm. When it comes to a squirting orgasm, being in a good mental place is even more important. Why? Well, when you squirt there’s a real sense of release — both mental and physical. Think about it. Squirting is a form of ejaculation. That ejaculation needs to be willful. But for many women, letting it all go — literally — can be a struggle.
Things only become harder when you’re pressuring yourself to do it. ‘Come on! Why isn’t this working? When is it going to happen?’ Thoughts like these can take over and before you know it, you’ve lost the groove. Try clearing your mind and forgetting about squirting. If you do, great. If not, great. Have patience with yourself and try not to overthink it.
Let go of pee-fear
Speaking of letting it all go, the number one reason women don’t squirt is the fear of peeing themselves. And, hey, it’s understandable. Nothing quite ruins a sexy moment like incontinence. So, let’s get one thing straight: squirting is not the same as peeing. The liquid produced when you squirt is not pee.
Sure, you may experience a sensation of needing to pee and that’s normal. When you’re aroused, the tissue around your urethra is flooded with blood which presses against your bladder, causing that familiar feeling of needing to pee. But (and this is important) it doesn’t mean you’re going to pee yourself. To put your mind at ease, try going to the bathroom before getting down to it. If you’ve already relieved yourself, you’ll feel more confident that the awesome feeling is not a hasty toilet break but rather something much more intriguing. And, hey, even if you do pee yourself, it’s really not the end of the world.
What sex toys are best for squirting?
Lelo Sona 2 Cruise – A lot of women find the unique clitoral situation. It creates a suction-and-release effect on the glans of the clitoris. Even if you can’t squirt with this toy is defiantly one to have in your toy box!
Je Joue – Kegal Balls – Wear Kegal Balls (Our personal faves are from Je Joue) for a few hours every day and we promise your orgasms will thank you. These are super helpful to strengthen your pelvic floors and have been linked to squirting success!
Wand Massager – So if you’ve been researching sex toys for a while you’ll know that the wand pops up EVERYWHERE! People are obsessed and if you like intense clitoral stimulation she’s your gal. Our personal favourite is ‘The Big One’ from Kandid.
Njoy G Spot Metal Wand – The OG of squirting. This toy is for direct G-Spot stimulation and you only have to read the reviews on Amazon to know that it’s helped many women squirt!
Lola Jean is Sex Educator, Mental Health Professional, Wrestler, Domme, Writer and World Record Holder for Volume (solo) Squirting. Through both personal and professional experience, Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of. As featured in The New York Times, Vice, Elite Daily and Mens Health, Lola offers a variety of classes to help people have better sex with themselves and each other. Through private kink or sex coaching, hands-on classes, talks, and her podcast w The Reluctant Sexpert : ‘Is Our Love ___?’,it is her goal to challenge gender and societal norms without perpetuating what is already so prevalent in porn or the male gaze. There is so much we are not exploring due to fear. Fear of how society will view us. How our partners will view us. How our peers will view us. Lola helps individuals stop making excuses and unlock who they are and what they deserve.
Hello, I’m Kitten E, Education & Content Manager here at KK. I’m passionate about educating people about sex in order to remove stigmas and judgment. You can also find me over on my sex-positive Instagram account @diaryofacuriousfemale ❤️