What does it mean to be a Daddy Dom and why do some subs like it so much? Read on for a basic intro to this much loved kink.
Having a Daddy kink is nothing to be ashamed of, yet many people feel embarrassed because of the fear of what people might say. But a Daddy kink doesn’t have anything to do with a person’s own father, nor does it mean they have “Daddy issues”. There is also no inherent gendering in Daddy Dom/me/mxs: anyone of any gender can identify as a Daddy.
Do you like the thought of being called Daddy? If so, what is it about being called Daddy that turns you on? I’ve met a few people who have Daddy kinks, and it’s become clear to me that there are predominantly two different ways people are experiencing it – the first being as a power-play dynamic, and the second being as a forbidden love role play.
What is a Daddy Dom dynamic?
The Daddy Dom dynamic is a common BDSM fantasy role play. It’s just like a Dominant and submissive dynamic, except age can become one of the main turn-ons in the role play. Have you ever fantasised about having sex with an older man? Does their experience, wisdom and authority turn you on? Well, this is one place that Daddy kinks can come from.
This particular type of Dominant and submissive dynamic is also known in the BDSM world as DD/LG, which stands for Daddy Dom/Little Girl. This kink is centred around age play, with the submissive taking on a much younger persona than their actual age. The age that they play could be anywhere from a baby through to a teenager. The Daddy might also be taking on a different age.
Just to be totally clear, a Daddy Dom dynamic has nothing to do with incest, or wanting to fuck your dad! Everyone engaging in these kinks does so from a place of understanding the distinction between fantasy and reality.
What is age play?
Age play is a style of role-play, which involves one or both partners taking on a different age – either much younger or older. The desire to play the role of someone younger often comes from a place of wanting the other person to have authority, not just via dominance, but through caregiving too.
A Daddy Dom’s role can be to dominate and discipline the Little (the submissive). They may set rules, tell them off, and subsequently punish them for being naughty; this is where other forms of BDSM come into play, such as spanking. A lot of the discipline in these scenarios centres around improving the little for their own good, and teaching them so that they learn. It is liberating for the little and constructively nourishing for both, as they are working within a structure that has something caring at its core.
Daddy Doms and Caregiving
DD/LG dynamics don’t always have to be sexual, and there’s a whole other side to Daddy kink that is all about caregiving. Aftercare is a huge part of BDSM, but when it comes to DD/LG, care can be one of the primary reasons for indulging in this kink. Do you ever have those days where you just wish you could be like a kid again, without any responsibilities or cares in the world? Now wouldn’t it be great to feel that way, but with the added benefit of incredible sex too? What’s that I hear you say? Yes, Daddy?
This dynamic can often show a softer, more romantic side to BDSM than that of a Master/slave dynamic. For example, with a Daddy Dom, the Little can forget about their responsibilities in the outside world, and instead become “Daddy’s baby”, letting their partner take care of them as they see fit. When they enter into this role play, it is known as “Little Space”. The Little may wish to carry out non-sexual activities that a younger person would enjoy such as colouring (it’s no secret that many of us enjoy a good adult colouring book). This dynamic isn’t just reserved for male Doms and female Littles either. Just as there is a Daddy kink, there is a Mommy kink, too.
Daddy kinks and forbidden love
The other way a Daddy kink can be interpreted (and this is my personal favourite) is as an indulgence in forbidden love role plays. This doesn’t have to be the literal daddy-daughter role play that you might find in stigmatized porn scenarios, it can be any figure of authority who is close to you who would traditionally be “off-limits”.
I’m sure we could all admit a time that we’ve fantasised about someone we shouldn’t, or had a naughty dream that made us feel embarrassed yet incredibly aroused. This could be your teacher, your babysitter, your Dad’s best friend, your Mum’s boyfriend, your boss, anyone in your life that you find hot but or because you know that society deems it wrong to fuck them. A big part of the Daddy kink appeal can be erotic humiliation; to experience feelings of naughtiness and shame when fucking someone you know you shouldn’t. That’s what attracts some people to the Daddy kink, and I can see why!
Consent & Communication
Just like with any BDSM dynamic, as long as there’s clear, consent and communication involved you can go wild with your role-play scenarios. Whether you simply enjoy being called a “good girl” after a spanking, or you like to dress up in pigtails and an adult diaper to be read a bedtime story, own it and enjoy it unashamedly.
If you’d like to explore other forms of BDSM then check out the kink section of our education centre, and keep an eye out for our latest events and workshops on all things BDSM and kink.
Sarah Butcher, aka Sub in the City, is a sex-positive BDSM & Kink educator who’s goal is to empower others to explore their sexuality, providing a safe and welcoming space for you to gain a deeper understanding of BDSM practices and introduce them into your sex lives with confidence.