Tips For The Best Vulva Massage

Want to know the basics of a yoni massage? We’ve teamed up with the amazing Jessica Parker who will be spilling the beans on how to give an amazing vulva and vagina massage.

The Best Vulva Massage – A Guide To Vagina Massage

Give yourself lots of time

Massaging a vagina or vulva is not something you want to rush. Make sure you and your partner/s set aside some time to dedicate to this sensual experience. This is not a task to tick off or a kind of foreplay for other kinds of sex (although if you want to you can of course have sex afterwards!) Nor does a vulva massage have to end in orgasm.

Rather, a vulva massage can be a beautiful way to improve intimacy and connection in your sex life, both with yourself as the vulva owner and, if relevant, with your partner/s.

Work the whole body

Warm up the rest of the body first – remember what else the pelvis is attached to! Inner thighs, stomach, and glutes all surround the vulva. When these are relaxed the blood starts flowing which allows for engorgement of the erectile tissues, thereby increasing the capacity to feel sensations during the yoni massage.

Vulva Cupping

Using stillness to ground both yourself and the pussy owner is highly underrated. Normally we feel we should be ‘doing’ techniques and movement all the time, which isn’t the case during yoni massage.
With relaxed hands rest your whole palm over the vulva ideally from the perineum to pubic bone/pubic mound (depending on your hand size vs vulva) and gently lean in and out with some even pressure in time with nice slow breathing rhythm. This can be called vulva cupping or a pussy hug, and is a great move to begin before moving to later stages of vaginal massage.
This is also a move that can be practiced solo! Cupping your vulva, whether as part of a massage, masturbation or relaxation, can help create a sense of grounding and self-intimacy.

Outside layers first

Take time to massage all the outer areas of the vulva – inner groin, pubic mound, outer labia –  before moving towards the inner labia, clitoris and vaginal entrance.

Vaginal massage

If you choose to incorporate vagina massage into this session, you will want to move a little differently to how you might if you were fingering or pleasuring your partner. Massaging a vagina is not necessarily about building up to a peak of pleasure or attempting to reach orgasm.

A KK Guide to Finding and Playing with the G-spot

Instead, focus your vaginal massage on relaxing the muscles in this area of the body. Move slowly. There is no need to rush to penetration. In fact, the vaginal massage may feel most pleasurable if you focus your attention on the opening of the vagina. Massage around the vaginal opening, and shallowly within the vagina itself, before exploring any deeper.

Checking in

Every vulva is different, and so is every vulva owner! Be sure to talk first to set clear communication guidelines, intentions and boundaries before you start the yoni massage. E.g. How long do you want the massage to go on for? What if you need to pee during? What if you want more pressure? How do you want me to ask for feedback if I need it during the massage? Do you want an internal vaginal massage or would you prefer the massage stays external?


 Make sure the vulva owners have checked and tested which lubrication product they like working with a few days before to ensure no irritation or reaction. Some products can disturb the natural balance of the genitals, and so shouldn’t be used during vulval or vaginal massage. I recommend organic coconut oil but this doesn’t suit everyone so its best to check first.  Keep a bottle or dish of your chosen warmed oil or lube nearby to make sure your hands and their pussy are always well lubricated.


Once you’ve done a small stroke on a small area (e.g. inner labia) smooth it out with a broad stroke using your whole palm over the whole vulva. This helps prevent any area from becoming irritated or over-stimulated and desensitised during the yoni massage.
If you are pairing your external massage therapy with internal vaginal massage, make sure you also spend time moving between the two. Once you start the vagina massage, you do not have to stay there! Move mindfully between different areas of the body for the most therapeutic vulva massage.
 If you want to learn more about sensual massage head over to our events page to book onto one of our workshops.
[uam_place id='3705']