Vulva Massage Tips

Want to know the basics of a Vulva Massage?

We’ve teamed up with the amazing Jessica Parker who will be spillings the beans on how to give an amazing Vulva massage.
If you want to learn more about sensual massage head over to our events page to book onto one of our workshops.

Whole body

Warm up the rest of the body first – remember what else the pelvis is attached to! Inner thighs, stomach, glutes all surround the vulva – when these are relaxed the blood starts flowing which allows for engorgement of our erectile tissues, thereby increasing your capacity to feel sensations.


Using stillness to ground both yourself and the pussy owner is highly underrated. Normally we feel we should be ‘doing’ techniques and movement all the time, which isn’t the case. With relaxed hands rest your whole palm over the vulva ideally from the perineum to pubic bone/pubic mound (depending on your hand size vs vulva) and gently lean in and out with some even pressure in time with nice slow breathing rhythm. This can be called vulva cupping or a pussy hug!

Outside layers first

Take time to massage all the outer areas of the vulva – inner groin, pubic mound, outer labia –  before moving towards the inner labia, clitoris and vaginal entrance.

Checking in

Every vulva is different so be sure to talk first to set clear communication guidelines, intentions and boundaries before you start the massage. E.g. How long do you want the massage to go on for? What if you need to pee during? What if you want more pressure? What if I want to roll over and go to sleep afterwards and you want sex? How do you want me to ask for feedback if I need it during the massage? Do you want an internal vaginal massage?


Make sure the vulva owners have checked and tested which lubrication product they like working with a few days before to ensure no irritation or reaction as some products can disturb the natural balance of the vagina. I recommend organic coconut oil but this doesn’t suit everyone so its best to check first.  Keep a bottle or dish of your chosen warmed oil (or warm in your hands if you’re using lube) nearby to make sure your hands and their pussy is always well lubricated.


Once you’ve done a small stroke on a small area (e.g. inner labia) smooth it out with a broad stroke using your whole palm over the whole vulva. This helps prevent any area from becoming irritated or over-stimulated and desensitised.